Step 1: In order to identify your “Inner Child” get into a relaxed state and close your eyes. Spend thirty minutes picturing yourself as a child between three and eight years of age. See yourself as this little child and watch yourself interacting with members of your family of origin. Look at how you as react to your family members as a little child.
Watch yourself with your playmates in the neighborhood or at school. Notice how you get along with your friends and playmates. Notice the fun you have at play and what type of play activities you enjoyed.
Watch yourself in the classroom and notice how you get along with your teacher and how you react to the school environment.
Finally, picture yourself in a family setting. Are you happy, frivolous, joyful, energetic, excited, and enjoying life? Are you serious, solemn, down, sad, unhappy, scared, disappointed, being miserable with life?
If you see only an unhappy, serious little child, try to remember your last happy experience as a child. This last remembrance of you as a happy child is the “Inner Child” who climbed inside of you to cope with stress.
Step 2: Now that you have identified your "Inner Child,'' answer the following questions in your journal:
a. How would you describe your "Inner Child?''
b. When did your "Inner Child'' go inside? What happened for your little child to climb inside of you?
c. How do you know when your "Inner Child'' is active in you?
d. What messages does your "Inner Child'' still need to hear?
e. How willing are you to give these messages to your "Inner Child?'' One way to do this is to develop self-affirmation statements that will nurture your "Inner Child'' and lead to self-healing.
f. What irrational beliefs did your "Inner Child'' have about life?
g. How willing are you to deal with these irrational beliefs and replace them with realistic truths? It is important to deal with these now so your "Inner Child'' can come out and finally enjoy life.
h. What are some of the negative consequences of suppressing your "Inner Child?''
i. How open are you to enjoying the little things in life?
j. What part does fun play in your life?
Step 3: You are now ready to make a plan of action to nurture your "Inner Child.'' Develop a plan of action and once your plan is completed, put it into action and take care of your "Inner Child''
Step 4: The following three activities can help the action, planning and nurturing of your "Inner Child:''
Activity 1: Learning How to Enjoy the Small Things in Life
Open yourself to experience joy at being alive by taking the following steps:
Step A: Open your eyes to the beauty and majesty of nature about you, e.g., paint photographs or simply observe sunrises or sunsets, a body of water, listen for bird calls, try to distinguish the different sounds, plant a garden and watch it grow.
Step B: Expand your “sensory” vocabulary. Try to experience life through all of your senses, use sight, sound, smell, and touch to explore and describe the experiences in your life.
Step C: Explore the natural environment, e.g., take a walk on the beach, relish natures’ wonders, take a walk on a wooded trail, enjoy the moonlight, the stars, and search out natures' magic.
Step D: Begin to slow down and let go. Enjoy children, pets, and the aroma of food. Listen to music, enroll in a ``fun'' class, enjoy the human side of those in your life, develop a sense of humor, a new hobby.
Activity 2: Learning How to Feel and to Share Feelings
Step A: Keep a journal in which you record your daily range of feelings.
Step B: Identify in your journal one new feeling a day to increase your feelings vocabulary.
Step C: Watch a sentimental movie and have a good cry, but pay attention to your feelings. Describe in your journal how you felt watching the movie and how you felt once you began to cry.
Step D: Begin an activity to generate positive feelings each day. Explore the world or your life in general. Recognize one good thing about it daily. Come up with a positive feeling generated by this “good thing,” add it to your feelings vocabulary in your journal.
Step E: Write a fantasy story in your journal describing you experiencing at least ten different positive feelings.
Step F: Relax and visualize yourself experiencing a positive feeling. Enjoy that visualized feeling. Once you have mastered the visualized feeling, plan an activity to make that feeling real for you. Record the experience in your journal.
Activity 3: Learning How to Play
The following tips can help you learn to play:
Step A. Let go of any guilt feelings you might have about indulging yourself in “play” activity. Redefine the role of “play” in your life. Restructure your life activities, and include some play time.
Step B. Define some “acceptable” play activities you would be willing to experiment with over the next year.
Step C. Be spontaneous and let go of the need for “rigidity” in the ways you play. Let your “child” out and freewheel through your playtime.
Step D. Don't stifle your “child-like” responses to a “play” activity. Loosen up and let go of the need to be “mature.”
Step E. Don't worry about your “public image,” as long as what you are doing harms no one. Vent gut-level frolic responses to your play activity.
Step F. Learn to be your own best friend.
Step G. Frolic and have fun without the use of artificial stimulants (drugs, alcohol, etc.)
Step H. Let your “responsible adult mind set” have a vacation. Practice looking at life with a child's perspective. Imagine how a child would view play. Let the sense of wonderment, excitement, imagination, make believe, and creativity reign.
Step I. Laughter is therapeutic and essential if playing is to be fun. Learn to let go of a good belly laugh.
Step J. Playing requires the use of fantasy. Let your fantasy life emerge and grow. Use imagination and visual imagery to broaden the scope and expand the boundaries of your “play.”
Step K. Take a risk and set up a “playtime” for your “inner child” in a family-like situation where you can play outdoors with children, e.g., have a food fight, a water sprinkling war, play Rover Red Rover, dodge ball, etc.
Step L. Give yourself a child's party. Invite your friends to bring their “inner child” to a party in which you indulge in children's games, e.g., pin the tail on the donkey, musical chairs, bobbing for apples, hopscotch, jacks, etc.
Step 5: After you have implemented your action plan using the Tools for Coping tools to nurture your "Inner Child,'' and after you have tried the three activities in Step 4, your "Inner Child'' should be more visible and active in your life.
If you still find yourself suppressing your "Inner child", return to Step 1 and begin again
