Balagopal Keeran's blogs

The Non verbal....Meaning Of..Corporate Communication.!!

2010-02-08T13:42:00.001+05:30

The ..Meanings Of..Corporate Communication...

The 'Corporate' language !!

'We will do it'
means
'You will do it'

'You have done a great job'
means
'More work to be given to you'

'We are working on it'
means
'We have not yet started working on the same'

'Tomorrow, first thing in the morning'
means
'Its not getting done...
At least not tomorrow !'.

'After discussion we will decide - I am very open to views'
means
'I have already decided, I will tell you what to do'

'There was a slight miscommunication'
means
'We had actually lied'

'Lets call a meeting and discuss'
means
'I have no time now, will talk later'

'We can always do it'
means
'We actually cannot do the same on time'

'We are on the right track but there needs to be a slight extension of the deadline'
means
'The project is screwed up, we cannot deliver on time.'

'We had slight differences of opinion'
means
'We had actually fought'

'Make a list of the work that you do and let's see how I can help you'
means
'Anyway you have to find a way out, no help from me'

'You should have told me earlier'
means
'Well even if you told me earlier that would have made hardly any difference!'

'We need to find out the real reason'
means
'Well I will tell you where your fault is'

'Well.... family is important, your leave is always granted. Just ensure that the work is not affected'
means
'Well you know...'

'We are a team'
means
'I am not the only one to be blamed'

'That's actually a good question'
means
'I do not know anything about it'
.
.
.
.
.
AND FINALLY, THE BEST OF ALL...
.
.
.
.
.

'All the Best'
means
' You are in trouble'

One Line Stress - Busters by Swami Chinmayananda

2009-08-04T11:09:00.002+05:30

Management Tips

One Line Stress - Busters

Swami Chinmayananda

Even if one of these is applied in our lives, stress can be reduced to a large extent and finally eliminated.

1. Be yourself. Don't imitate others.

You were created an original. Don't die as a duplicate.

2. Work is love made visible. All else is merely labour.

Do what you 'Love' and 'Love' what you do.

3. Stop all comparisons.

Compare yourself with yourself alone and no one else. You are the measuring rod for your growth, not anyone else.

4. Think, don't brood.

To brood is to abuse the faculty of the mind. To think is to put it to use.Don't brood over regrets of the past and anxieties of the future.

5. Keep the mind where the hands are at work.

6. Do the best, leave the rest.

Surrender the anxieties for the fruit of action, to the Lord or at a higher altar.

7. Plan out your work. Work out your Plan.

8. Success is not in the trophy won, but in the race run.

Enquire into your notions of success. What is success and failure for you?

9. What we have is a Gift from Him. What we do with what we have is our Gift to Him.

Count your blessings and Be Positive. Don't criticize, blame or look down upon yourself.

10. Daily prayer and meditation are all wonderful therapeutic agencies in building up peace and happiness within an individual.

(Contributed by: Lakshmy)

Learning to Dance in the Rain...

2009-07-29T10:37:00.002+05:30

An excerpt from
Learning to Dance in the Rain
by Mac Anderson and BJ Gallagher

The date was July 16, 2008. It was late in the afternoon and I was sitting in my hotel room in Louisville, Kentucky. I was scheduled to speak that evening for the Kentucky Association of School Administrators (KASA). I was a little "down in the dumps." I hadn't gotten to exercise lately because of my traveling schedule and recently I'd experienced some mild bouts of vertigo (that inner ear condition that can cause the room to start spinning.) You got it...speaking and "spinning" are not good partners!

My keynote presentation was scheduled for 7:00 PM, but I had been invited to show up at 6:00 to see a performance they said I'd enjoy. Little did I know that I was about to see something I would never forget.

They introduced the young musician. Welcome...Mr. Patrick Henry Hughes. He was rolled onto the stage in his wheelchair, and began to play the piano. His fingers danced across the keys as he made beautiful music.

He then began to sing as he played, and it was even more beautiful. For some reason, however, I knew that I was seeing something special. There was this aura about him that I really can't explain and the smile...his smile was magic!

About ten minutes into Patrick's performance, someone came on the stage and said..."I'd like to share a 7-minute video titled, The Patrick Henry Hughes story." And the lights went dim.

Patrick Henry Hughes was born with no eyes, and a tightening of the joints which left him crippled for life. However, as a child, he was fitted with artificial eyes and placed in a wheelchair. Before his first birthday, he discovered the piano. His mom said, "I could hit any note on the piano, and within one or two tries, he'd get it." By his second birthday, he was playing requests (You Are My Sunshine, Twinkle Twinkle Little Star). His father was ecstatic. "We might not play baseball, but we can play music together."

Today, Patrick is a junior at the University of Louisville. His father attends classes with him and he's made nearly all A's, with the exception of 3 B's He's also a part of the 214 member marching band. You read it right...the marching band! He's a blind, wheelchair-bound trumpet player; and he and his father do it together. They attend all the band practices and the half-time performance in front of thousands. His father rolls and rotates his son around the field to the cheers of Patrick's fans. In order to attend Patrick's classes and every band practice, his father works the graveyard shift at UPS. Patrick said..."My dad's my hero."

But even more than his unbelievable musical talent, it was Patrick's "attitude of gratitude" that touched my soul. On stage, between songs, he would talk to the audience about his life and about how blessed he was. He said, "God made me blind and unable to walk. BIG DEAL! He gave me the ability...the musical gifts I have...the great opportunity to meet new people."

When his performance was over, Patrick and his father were on the stage together. The crowd rose to their feet and cheered for over five minutes. It gave me giant goose bumps!

My life was ready to meet Patrick Henry Hughes. I needed a hero, and I found one for the ages. If I live to be a hundred, I'll never forget that night, that smile, that music, but most importantly, that wonderful "attitude of gratitude."

I returned to Chicago and shared Patrick's story with my wife, my friends, and our team at Simple Truths. About two weeks later, I received a letter from a friend. He said, "Mac, I don't know who said it, but I think you'll love this quote."

"Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass...
it's about learning how to dance in the rain!"

I thought...that's it! We all face adversity in our life. However, it's not the adversity, but how we react to it that will determine the joy and happiness in our life. During tough times, do we spend too much time feeling sorry for ourselves, or, can we, with gratitude...learn how to dance in the rain?

It almost sounds too simple to feel important, but one word...gratitude, can change your attitude, thus, your life, forever. Sarah Breathnack said it best...

"When we choose not to focus on what is missing from our lives but are grateful for the abundance that's present....we experience heaven on earth."

You can Win ! (Courtesy: Shiv Khera)

2009-07-29T10:29:00.002+05:30

We can only inspire people, not motivate them....
Change of mind can work miracles, beliefs & convictions can bring about the impossible!!

Be a Winner ! (Courtesy: Shiv Khera)

2009-07-29T10:16:00.001+05:30

Shiv Khera talks about characteristics of winners.

Rising India - 2009 (Contributed by Venugopal)

2009-07-28T19:47:00.000+05:30

MAY YOU BE BLESSED.....MOVIE

2009-07-23T17:42:00.000+05:30

Laughter is the best form of relaxation, take a break and enjoy...

2009-07-23T15:58:00.000+05:30

ALZHEIMER'S DISEASE - A must know facts for all.

2009-07-23T15:11:00.000+05:30

SECRET OF SUCCESS !

2009-06-13T13:32:00.002+05:30

The secret is finally revealed!

Politicians, Popes, Leading Scientists, Kings and Army Leaders have been using the secret to achieve all their miraculous Success through their lifetime.

Now the secret is available for us. It is hard to believe it and accept it but, that makes it so important. It is simple like a Child Play. Jus keep on reading....

The first part of the secret is: We attract and create everything happening in our life.

It is called The Law Of Attraction. It is difficult to accept that someone can bring himself a cancer or a horrible accident, but it is a scientifically fact, proven by the Quantum Physics.

The power of our thoughts is enormous and goes far beyond the limits of the body. Our thoughts are like a very strong magnet attracting everything which is in synch so we think about bad stuff like being in debt or becoming and more of the same is coming to us.

We know it is almost impossible to generate a positive thought when we are surrounded by bad circumstances. But this is where the game starts. We have to understand that, those bad circumstances, surrounding us right now have been created by us, our negative thoughts attracted and continue to attract that bad stuff.

It is like a vicious circle or more correct a spiral going down and down. How to stop that? Reverse our thoughts. Here comes the most difficult part: Can we control our thoughts? The fact is that one can do that unless in possession of a super power. How an ordinary human being can achieve that control? The answer is by watching emotions. It turns out that emotions are even easier to control and they can affect our thoughts.

Every time we catch ourselves in a bad mood of Negative emotion -- Switch to a Positive one. This is the clue. We have to create a Vision, Recall an event from your life, where we have been extremely Happy, and call this moment every time we find ourselves in a Bad Mood or Emotion. How simple is that every one can do it. It takes a part of second to make it happened. Let’s reveal the three practical steps about creating our life.

Step one:

Ask for it. Write on a piece of paper what we want. Draw a picture, make a photograph and put it on the wall in the spot we can see it easily.

Step Two:

Bring it. This is not our part. It is obligation of the universe to bring to us whatever we ask for. We have no power to know How Is This Going To Happen?

Step Three:

Receive it. We have to prepare ourselves for receiving what we have asked for. Here comes the obligation to keep the positive emotions and thoughts on synch of what we are asking for.

Deep inside of us have to be, absolute faith that the thing we asked for is On Its Way To us. We have to start seeing it materialized and act as it is already here. And the most important part of the game, as it is already here we have to be grateful to the Universe Creator, God ( sai ) or whatever we call it, which is bringing our desire to us. This is the most important part to understand and apply. If we send a Thank You message to the Universe for a something which is not yet materialized, then the Universe has no chance but to deliver it us as soon as possible.

And the last part of our preparation is:

Give whatever we want to be given. If we want money – start giving money. If we need help start helping others. The secret is now revealed to us. It is so simple and powerful and has been in use for ages. It is difficult to believe in it and that is what is going to separate the Winners from the Losers in this life.

Let Us All use it and enjoy every bit of our lives Here and Now!

(Courtesy: Priya)

Boss making passes? Tips to handle it with care : (Courtesy: Priya)

2009-06-13T13:22:00.002+05:30

The corny but scary office scenario goes something like this:

The boss runs after the female subordinate. The pat on the bottom and the leering at the clevage follows.

So, how does one cope with the leers, innuendos and gropes !

If it was a co-worker, you can take it to the boss. But what do you do if it's the boss himself who can't seem to control his testosterone?

Real or imaginary

Make sure that it's not just your imagination and that the boss is really predatory.

Dress codeGals, it always comes back to this. Wear less clingy clothes to work. Show off your knowledge and expertise, not your clevage.

Watch your words and actions

The businesslike handing over of a file can be quite different from a languid gesture that invites a fumble. Don't succumb to flattery and send wrong signals that may be difficult to handle.

Handle with kid gloves

It is not easy to antagonise the Boss. Stare back pointedly, gently joke about the leer without getting emotional. Do it with others around; the public embarrassment may stop it. If it is your bosom, say, "Is there a spot on my dress?" or "Did I wear my husband's/boyfriend's/brother's shirt by mistake?" "Do you like my blouse? You can get the same at XYZ for your wife !".

Avoid solo contact

Not easy, especially when you are asked to come into the boss's cabin and close the door. Tell a colleague about the meeting. Glass-walled and modular offices are great, so try to maintain dignity. Keep the table between you at all times.

Get support

Confide in a co-worker. In the presence of others, discuss sexual harassment in a movie or serial, especially when the boss is in hearing distance! They can bear witness if the affair becomes official or a legal issue.

Keep a record

Record incidents, occasions, dates etc. of episodes to strengthen your case and show a pattern of harassment.

Dont go emo, cope up:

1) If the behaviour continues, object politely but firmly-no tears please.

2) Firmly push away the groping hand.

3) Say loudly, "Stop! You are invading my personal space."

4) Repeat sexual innuendos or doubtful statements in a loud voice and ask what he means, very effective when there are others around.

5) Leave out pamphlets or articles around on sexual harassment.

6) Use the phrase "sexual harassment" or "sexual assault" freely and frequently when he is around.

7) Complain to HR if it continues even if your leery Boss is the top man. Explain the situation and your discomfort. A safe working environment is part of your contract.

8) If all else fails, bite the bullet! Look for another job.

Three Powerful Words : (Courtesy: Priya)

2009-06-13T13:20:00.001+05:30

A funny story is told about General George Patton from his World War II days. He once accepted an invitation to dine at a press camp in Africa. Wine was served in canteen cups but, obviously thinking he was served coffee, Patton poured cream into his cup. As he stirred in sugar, Patton was warned that his cup contained red wine and not coffee.

Now, General Patton could never, never be wrong. Without hesitating he replied, "I know. I like my wine this way." And he drank it! I relate this story because I see something of myself, and perhaps most of us, here. It is difficult to admit mistakes. It is hard to admit when we are wrong. Three of life's most difficult words to say are, "I was wrong."

But they are also three of the most powerful words we can utter. "I was wrong" breaks down barriers between people. It brings estranged people together. And it creates a climate where intimacy and love may flourish. You may be surprised at how positively many people respond to the words, "I was wrong"!

Naturally, it is a risk. But to admit when you are wrong is not to confess that you are a "bad" person. Simply an honest one and true friends will appreciate you for it.Whole and happy lives are built by people who have learned the power of intimacy, in part, through the use of the words "I was wrong."

Training Yourself For Better Concentration (Courtesy: Vasanth)

2009-06-13T13:11:00.001+05:30

Concentration means directing one's attention on whatever one intends. We all have a natural ability to concentrate. Have you noticed how difficult it is to get young children's attention when they are playing? Do you remember the time when you were completely engrossed in an interesting novel, a super film, an exciting match or an exhilarating piece of music? You were concentrating then. At this very moment you are reading these words, you are concentrating.

It helps to know what it is like to concentrate, so that you can get back to that state of being.

What is poor concentration?

When people say that they can't concentrate, it usually means that they cannot stay focused on one thing for as long as they would like. Most of us experience lapses in concentration every day. We are not usually concerned about it; we may not even notice these lapses in concentration. They only become a problem when we find that we cannot get things done as quickly as we would like, or when they cause us to make mistakes.

You do not concentrate when you allow your environment to distract you, and/or your thoughts and feelings to interrupt you. Your thoughts are scattered; your mind jumps from one thing to another like a monkey. It helps to learn and to practice concentration strategies, to harness your monkey mind, so that it works at your will. If you know the causes of your poor concentration, you can learn to control these factors.

Factors that may cause poor concentration

Lack of concentration is one of the frequent complaints among students mainly due to distraction. There are two types of distractions: external and internal.

External Distractions

External distractions are related to the physical environment of your study area. Once you have identified these distractions, it is often easy to deal with them. Some of the common external distractions are:

a. Noise; conversations

b. Inappropriate furniture; inadequate lighting

c. Interruption from other people; telephone , mobile, sms

d. Television, FM Radion, mp3 player

e. Work: paid or unpaid; housework

f. The Internet; email

Internal Distractions

Internal distractions are related to you: your body, your thoughts and your emotions. Some of them can be easily dealt with once they are identified. Others can be managed with practice and/or with a little help. Some of the common internal distractions are:

a. Hunger; tiredness; illness

b. Lack of motivation; boredom; lack of interest

c. Personal worries; stress; anxiety

d. Negative thinking

e. Daydreaming

f. Lack of organization; dyslexia

Inspirational Movie (Courtesy: Naveen)

2009-06-13T13:04:00.002+05:30

Words of wisdom - a must download & watch presentation

2009-06-03T16:56:00.001+05:30

An arrow can be shot only by dragging it backward.
So whenever Life pulls you backward
Don't Worry - It is an indication of a path leading you towards victory.
Words - Powerful than swords.
Let's see whether the attached Words of Wisdom have impact on our thinking tanks.

Click here to download and watch this beautiful presentation with your speakers on.

To All Married Couples and Singles Who Intend to Get Married (Worth reading this)

2009-06-03T16:48:00.002+05:30

To All Married Couples and Singles Who Intend to Get Married (Worth reading this)
(contibuted by Anik Mehta)

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to lether know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why? I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man!

That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; I had lost my heart to a lovely girl called Dew. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, 30% shares of my company and the car. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Dew so dearly.

Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Dew. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that everyday for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy.Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Dew about my wife s divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully. My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset.

I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest... I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning...

This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Dew about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily. Suddenly it hit me; she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart.

Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head. Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mum out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind... I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished. Then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other any more. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death does us apart.

Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote:'I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart'

The small details of our lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, the property, the bank balance that matters. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy.

Do have a real happy marriage!

WHERE ARE YOU RIGHT NOW (REAL MORAL STORY)

2009-04-29T14:14:00.001+05:30

A mother and baby camel lazing around, suddely the baby camel asked.....

BABY: mother, mother may I ask you some Question?

BABY: why do camels have humps?

Mother: well son, we are DESERT ANIMALs, we need hums to store water and we are known to survive without water.

BABY: Okay, then why are our legs long and feet Rounded?

MOTHER: Son Obviously theya re meant for walking in the desert, you know with these legs we can move around the desert better than anyone else !

BABY: Then why are our eyelashes long? some times it bother my eyes.

MOTHER: My son, those long thick eyelashes are your protective cover. they help to protect your eyes from the desert sand and winds.

BABY: I see. so the humps is to store water when we are in the desert, the legs are for walking through the desert and these eyelashes protect my eyes from the desert - THEN WHAT ARE WE DOING HERE IN THE ZzzoooooO !?

Moral Of The Story: Skills, Knowledge, Abilities and Experiences are only useful if you are in the right Place(Where are you right Now?)

The Inner Child...

2009-04-29T13:52:00.002+05:30

The "Inner Child" is the:

Little child you were who desired to be nurtured, cared for, and loved. This child still resides within you as an adult.
Free spirit, pixie, and elf you have tamed and controlled, yet who resides within you.
Emotional and sensitive you whom you have channeled, controlled, and silenced and who is still living within you.
Creative, imaginative, and artistic you who has been molded, structured, and organized; who still resides in you and is needing to be set free.
Hurt, pained, neglected, frustrated, abused, and ignored you whom you have masked, hidden from view, and denied the existence of. This child is always just below the surface, causing you to be anxious, worried, and fearful of mistreatment.
Fun loving, happy, frivolous, joyful, humorous you when you were young and unsophisticated; that person you have replaced with a sophisticated, mature, serious, task oriented demeanor.
Childhood you have lost or forgotten; yet it still resides in you, dwelling in your subconscious.
Person who knows how to have fun and play for play's sake; who can help you prevent burnout and manage the stress in your life.
Person you could be as an adult if you lightened up, let go of your seriousness, overcame your fears, and accepted flexibility and change in your life.
Person within you who needs healing, support, and reinforcement through a variety of Tools for Coping activities. Through this you can be given new life, health, and a chance for personal growth.

How did the "Inner Child" get there?

The "Inner Child":
Resides in every adult person.
Lives in every adult because it is captured in the brain's memory bank.
Exists in the memory or subconscious because each one of us has poignant memories of our past that shape our present motivation and future drive.
Exists because when we adopted specific behavior characteristics and behavior scripts to cope in our dysfunctional environment we masked, covered up, or forgot the "real'' inner child we had been.
Comes back to many of us in our dreams or daydreams. We can clearly picture what the little child looks like and how the child is feeling and acting.
Is the person we controlled, repressed, and hid in order to survive in the world of stress. Since it was repressed we held onto it in our subconscious.
Is the link we have to our spiritual being because it is in the spirit realm rather than in the realm of conscious behavior.
Is a component of our current value and belief system; however, we are unaware of its influence on our decisions.
Exists because when we were overcome by guilt as children, we climbed inside of ourselves to avoid the feelings of not being ``good enough.''
Exists because when we were little our family rules required that we present an image of a happy, healthy family, even if we weren't. So we repressed our little child to appear more responsible, serious, and achievement oriented.

What is the unfinished business of the "Inner Child"?

From growing up in a dysfunctional family, emotional maturity was stunted.
This failure to mature left the "Inner Child" unfinished because we:
Grew up too fast
Became small adults; little “moms'” and “dads”
Were either over responsible or overachievers
Were emotionally vulnerable
Were not given a chance to grow and mature in a normal sequence of events
Put on a public “mask'” or image to stifle our child-like needs
Repressed joy, vision, and feelings
Still have an “inner child'” waiting to grow up and take its proper place

How does the "Inner Child" come into being?

The "Inner Child" comes into being by:

A denial of true feelings
A denial of the person we are
Trying hard to live up to others' expectations
Holding back our child-like responses, while we provide adult like responses to stress
The fear of being “found out”' about how we really feel
Insecurity in the midst of chaos, confusion, or the vacuum of repressed feelings
A sense of obligation to always “look good'” and “be good”
Inexperience at being loved for “who you are” rather than for “what you do”
Not being given the role model of how to “enjoy” life and to have “fun”
Always having to be “serious'” about life
A lack of encouragement to broaden our scope of vision about the “potentials” in life
The stress of staying vigilantly in the “here and now” so that we stay in control and the “walls didn't come tumbling down'” around us
Never being given or taking the freedom to “play” and act “childish”
Not being given role models of how to take pleasure out of the “little” things in life
A compulsive drive to fulfill our “role” in our family
Not recognizing that we can make “choices” in our lives to make it what we want it to be
Continuing even now to follow our “compulsive” role(s) rather than choosing to change and be free from the restraints this compulsion creates for us
Silencing our “inner child” and guarding ourselves, retreating behind “masked” barriers
Feeling that it is not safe to grow up, to accept love, or to share feelings
Learning to spend some time each day in pleasure and play

What are the signs of activity of the "Inner Child"?

We know our "Inner Child" is active when we:
Lose ourselves in frolic and fun
Cry at a sentimental movie or TV show
Over-indulge our own children
Enjoy playing with children's toys
Love visiting Walt Disney World or other theme parks designed for children
Seek out adult toys to play with
Cry or grieve as adults for the losses we experienced in our past
Still seek to please the senior members of our families of origin and our extended families
Get sentimental looking at old photo albums, home movies, or scrap books about our childhood
Experience the same intensity of feeling we had as children as we role play or act out experiences from our past

What messages did the "Inner Child" need to hear, but which went unsaid?

When the "Inner Child" climbed inside you it probably was hoping to hear:

I love you, I care about you, and I accept you just the way you are
I am so proud of you and all that you are
I am so happy you are my child
You are so beautiful and attractive
You are so bright and talented
You are so artistic and creative
You are such a good worker
I am sorry I hurt you
I am sorry I neglected you
I am sorry I forgot you
I am sorry I ignored you
I am sorry I took you for granted
I am sorry I made you grow up so fast
I am sorry I had to rely on you so much
You can trust me to take care of you
You can trust me to be there for you
You can trust me to protect you from any hurt or pain
I will get help for myself and for the family
We will work at getting healthy together
We will have healthy fun and play together

What are the negative consequences of suppressing the "Inner Child"?

When as adults we choose to suppress the memory, needs, and desires of the "Inner Child" we run the risk of:
Never learning how to feel normally
Never learning how to play and have fun
Never learning how to relax and manage stress
Never learning how to appreciate life. We would rather work at living
Taking ourselves too seriously
Feeling guilty over not being “good enough” and driving ourselves to work harder to be “good enough”
Becoming workaholics
Not enjoying our family life with our children
Being suspicious of people who enjoy life, have fun, and know how to play
Social isolation, afraid to get involved with other people for fear we will be found out to be inadequate, not normal, or a misfit

What nurturing messages can you give your "Inner Child"?

You can tell your "Inner Child" that it is OK to:

· Have the freedom to make choices for itself
· Be “selfish” and do the things you want to do
· Take the time to do the things you want to do
· Associate only with the people you want to associate with
· Accept some people and to reject others
· Give and accept love from others
· Allow someone else to care for you
· Enjoy the fruits of your labor with no guilt feelings
· Take time to “play” and have “fun” each day
· Not to be so “serious”, intense, and inflexible about life
· Set limits on how you are going to relate to others
· Not always “serve” others
· Accept others “serving” you
· Be in charge of your life and not let others dictate to you
· Be honest with others about your thoughts and feelings
· Take risks and to suffer the positive or negative consequences of such risks
· Make mistakes, laugh at them, and carry on
· Let your imagination and creativity be set free and to soar with the eagles
· Cry, hurt, and to be in pain as long as you share your feelings; do not repress or suppress them
· Be angry, to express your anger, and to bring your anger to some resolution
· Make decisions for yourself
· Be a problem solver and come up with solutions with which everyone may not agree
· Feel happiness, joy, excitement, pleasure, and excitement about living
· Feel down, blue, sad, anxious, upset, and worried, as long as you share your feelings
· Love and be loved by someone whom you cherish
· Be your “Inner Child” and to let it grow up, accept love, share feelings, and enjoy pleasure and play

What are some steps by which you can help heal your "Inner Child"?

Step 1: In order to identify your “Inner Child” get into a relaxed state and close your eyes. Spend thirty minutes picturing yourself as a child between three and eight years of age. See yourself as this little child and watch yourself interacting with members of your family of origin. Look at how you as react to your family members as a little child.

Watch yourself with your playmates in the neighborhood or at school. Notice how you get along with your friends and playmates. Notice the fun you have at play and what type of play activities you enjoyed.
Watch yourself in the classroom and notice how you get along with your teacher and how you react to the school environment.
Finally, picture yourself in a family setting. Are you happy, frivolous, joyful, energetic, excited, and enjoying life? Are you serious, solemn, down, sad, unhappy, scared, disappointed, being miserable with life?
If you see only an unhappy, serious little child, try to remember your last happy experience as a child. This last remembrance of you as a happy child is the “Inner Child” who climbed inside of you to cope with stress.
Step 2: Now that you have identified your "Inner Child,'' answer the following questions in your journal:

a. How would you describe your "Inner Child?''
b. When did your "Inner Child'' go inside? What happened for your little child to climb inside of you?
c. How do you know when your "Inner Child'' is active in you?
d. What messages does your "Inner Child'' still need to hear?
e. How willing are you to give these messages to your "Inner Child?'' One way to do this is to develop self-affirmation statements that will nurture your "Inner Child'' and lead to self-healing.
f. What irrational beliefs did your "Inner Child'' have about life?
g. How willing are you to deal with these irrational beliefs and replace them with realistic truths? It is important to deal with these now so your "Inner Child'' can come out and finally enjoy life.
h. What are some of the negative consequences of suppressing your "Inner Child?''
i. How open are you to enjoying the little things in life?
j. What part does fun play in your life?

Step 3: You are now ready to make a plan of action to nurture your "Inner Child.'' Develop a plan of action and once your plan is completed, put it into action and take care of your "Inner Child''

Step 4: The following three activities can help the action, planning and nurturing of your "Inner Child:''

Activity 1: Learning How to Enjoy the Small Things in Life
Open yourself to experience joy at being alive by taking the following steps:
Step A: Open your eyes to the beauty and majesty of nature about you, e.g., paint photographs or simply observe sunrises or sunsets, a body of water, listen for bird calls, try to distinguish the different sounds, plant a garden and watch it grow.
Step B: Expand your “sensory” vocabulary. Try to experience life through all of your senses, use sight, sound, smell, and touch to explore and describe the experiences in your life.
Step C: Explore the natural environment, e.g., take a walk on the beach, relish natures’ wonders, take a walk on a wooded trail, enjoy the moonlight, the stars, and search out natures' magic.
Step D: Begin to slow down and let go. Enjoy children, pets, and the aroma of food. Listen to music, enroll in a ``fun'' class, enjoy the human side of those in your life, develop a sense of humor, a new hobby.
Activity 2: Learning How to Feel and to Share Feelings
Step A: Keep a journal in which you record your daily range of feelings.
Step B: Identify in your journal one new feeling a day to increase your feelings vocabulary.
Step C: Watch a sentimental movie and have a good cry, but pay attention to your feelings. Describe in your journal how you felt watching the movie and how you felt once you began to cry.
Step D: Begin an activity to generate positive feelings each day. Explore the world or your life in general. Recognize one good thing about it daily. Come up with a positive feeling generated by this “good thing,” add it to your feelings vocabulary in your journal.
Step E: Write a fantasy story in your journal describing you experiencing at least ten different positive feelings.
Step F: Relax and visualize yourself experiencing a positive feeling. Enjoy that visualized feeling. Once you have mastered the visualized feeling, plan an activity to make that feeling real for you. Record the experience in your journal.
Activity 3: Learning How to Play
The following tips can help you learn to play:
Step A. Let go of any guilt feelings you might have about indulging yourself in “play” activity. Redefine the role of “play” in your life. Restructure your life activities, and include some play time.
Step B. Define some “acceptable” play activities you would be willing to experiment with over the next year.
Step C. Be spontaneous and let go of the need for “rigidity” in the ways you play. Let your “child” out and freewheel through your playtime.
Step D. Don't stifle your “child-like” responses to a “play” activity. Loosen up and let go of the need to be “mature.”
Step E. Don't worry about your “public image,” as long as what you are doing harms no one. Vent gut-level frolic responses to your play activity.
Step F. Learn to be your own best friend.
Step G. Frolic and have fun without the use of artificial stimulants (drugs, alcohol, etc.)
Step H. Let your “responsible adult mind set” have a vacation. Practice looking at life with a child's perspective. Imagine how a child would view play. Let the sense of wonderment, excitement, imagination, make believe, and creativity reign.
Step I. Laughter is therapeutic and essential if playing is to be fun. Learn to let go of a good belly laugh.
Step J. Playing requires the use of fantasy. Let your fantasy life emerge and grow. Use imagination and visual imagery to broaden the scope and expand the boundaries of your “play.”
Step K. Take a risk and set up a “playtime” for your “inner child” in a family-like situation where you can play outdoors with children, e.g., have a food fight, a water sprinkling war, play Rover Red Rover, dodge ball, etc.
Step L. Give yourself a child's party. Invite your friends to bring their “inner child” to a party in which you indulge in children's games, e.g., pin the tail on the donkey, musical chairs, bobbing for apples, hopscotch, jacks, etc.

Step 5: After you have implemented your action plan using the Tools for Coping tools to nurture your "Inner Child,'' and after you have tried the three activities in Step 4, your "Inner Child'' should be more visible and active in your life.
If you still find yourself suppressing your "Inner child", return to Step 1 and begin again

The lion in UAE..(with due regards to all, interpret it in the right context)

2009-04-29T13:44:00.001+05:30

In a poor zoo of Africa, a lion was frustrated as he was offered not more than 1 kg of meat a day.

The lion thought its prayers were answered. When one day a Dubai Zoo manager visited the zoo and requested the zoo management to shift the lion to Dubai Zoo.

The lion was so happy and started thinking of a central A/C environment, a goat or two every day.

On its first day after arrival, the lion was offered a big bag, sealed nicely for breakfast. The lion opened it quickly but was shocked to see that it contained few bananas. The lion thought that may be they cared too much for him as they were worried about his stomach as he had recently shifted. The next day the same thing happened.

On the third day again the same food bag of bananas was delivered. The lion was so furious; it stopped the delivery boy and blasted him, 'don't you know I am the lion...king of the Jungle..., what's wrong with your management'? What nonsense is this? Why are you delivering bananas to me?

The delivery boy politely said, 'Sir, I know you are the king of the jungle ... but... you have been brought here on a monkey's visa'!!!

Moral of the Story.... Better to be a Lion in your own country than be a monkey elsewhere. Do not allow yourself to be exploited....

The Secret To Creating Your Future

2009-04-24T13:03:00.000+05:30

Your Thoughts create your future

2009-04-24T12:56:00.000+05:30

11 Useful Tips on how to use The Secret Law Of Attraction

2009-04-24T12:55:00.001+05:30

Inspirational Wallpapers...(Click on the images to enlarge it)

2009-04-22T17:59:00.002+05:30

The Secret - Original Vision Video - Live life

2009-04-22T17:52:00.000+05:30

Ester Hicks explains Law of Attraction and The Secret

2009-04-22T17:50:00.001+05:30

The Secret, Esther Hicks & Oprah. Story Waters Interview 1/2

2009-04-22T17:48:00.001+05:30

The Secret Law of Attraction in 700 words Story Waters 2/2

2009-04-22T17:41:00.002+05:30

The Secret Law of Attraction and Your Dream Life

2009-04-22T17:41:00.001+05:30

Law Of Attraction - Inspiration to create the life of your dreams

2009-04-22T17:39:00.000+05:30

World Famous Movie "The Secret"[First 20 Minutes]

2009-04-22T17:27:00.000+05:30

Ester Hicks explains Law of Attraction and The Secret

2009-04-22T17:26:00.000+05:30

Is FEAR Holding You Back in Your Life & Business?

2009-04-22T17:24:00.000+05:30

Click here to watch this video.

You Can Heal Your Life Study 12

2009-04-22T17:23:00.002+05:30

You Can Heal Your Life Study 11

2009-04-22T17:23:00.001+05:30

You Can Heal Your Life Study 10

2009-04-22T17:22:00.001+05:30

You Can Heal Your Life Study 09

2009-04-22T17:21:00.000+05:30

You Can Heal Your Life Study 08

2009-04-22T17:20:00.002+05:30

You Can Heal Your Life Study 07

2009-04-22T17:20:00.001+05:30

You Can Heal Your Life Study 06

2009-04-22T17:19:00.001+05:30

You Can Heal Your Life Study 05

2009-04-22T17:18:00.001+05:30

You Can Heal Your Life Study 04

2009-04-22T17:17:00.002+05:30

You Can Heal Your Life Study 03

2009-04-22T17:17:00.001+05:30

You Can Heal Your Life Study 02

2009-04-22T17:15:00.003+05:30

You Can Heal Your Life Study 01

2009-04-22T17:15:00.001+05:30

Louise Hay on The Brain & Positive Thinking

2009-04-22T17:13:00.000+05:30

Louise Hay on Law of Thinking

2009-04-22T17:12:00.000+05:30

Louise Hay on Your Thoughts create your future

2009-04-22T17:11:00.001+05:30

Attitude ...

2009-04-09T15:28:00.001+05:30

One evening a scholar was addressing the participants on the concept of work culture. One of the participants asked the following question;

"I am a senior manager of Materials Department and I joined an organization 25 years ago as an Engineer Trainee and over the last 25 years I have gone through every experience in the organization.

During the initial part of my career, the job was very challenging and interesting.

However, all those exciting days are gone since I do not find my joy any more interesting because there is nothing new in my job. I am now feeling bored because I am doing a routine job.
However, Sir, I am living in the same house for over forty years, I am the son for the same parents for over forty five years, I am the father for the same children for the past ten years and the husband for the same lady for the past twenty years !( the toughest job!)

In these personal roles I do not feel bored Please tell me why I am bored of the routine in the office and not in the house?"

The response from Scholar was very interesting and convincing. He asked the executive the question:

"Please tell me for whom does your Mother cook ?"

The executive replied that obviously the mother cooks for others.

Then the Scholar said that the mother "Serves" others and because of this service mindedness, she is not feeling tired or bored. But in an office, we "Work" and not "Serve". Anything we consider, as service will not make us feel bored. That is difference between Serving and Working.
He asked the executive to consider his work as service and not merely a work !! This was a very interesting analysis!! Whenever you put a larger context around your work and see a broader meaning for your work, you will take interest in your work and it will make a very big difference in your internal energy.

Attitude Matters!

Swami Vivekanand shares his thoughts on GOD.

2009-04-08T13:18:00.002+05:30

When I Asked God for Strength He Gave Me Difficult Situations to Face,

When I Asked God for Brain & Brawn He Gave Me Puzzles in Life to Solve,

When I Asked God for Happiness He Showed Me Some Unhappy People,

When I Asked God for Wealth He Showed Me How to Work Hard,

When I Asked God for Favors He Showed Me Opportunities to Work Hard,

When I Asked God for Peace He Showed Me How to Help Others,

God Gave Me Nothing I Wanted He Gave Me Everything I Needed.

- Swami Vivekananda

"Everyday starts with some Expectation, But ends with some Experience"

Swami Chinmayananda - Why does one share his emotions?

2009-04-07T14:38:00.000+05:30

Swami Chinmayananda - What is time?

2009-04-07T14:36:00.000+05:30

Swami Chinmayananda - Maha Mrityunjaya Mantra

2009-04-07T13:23:00.000+05:30

Swami Chinmayananda: How to set your goal in life?

2009-04-07T13:21:00.000+05:30

Click here to watch on YouTube.

Deep Meditation Experience

2009-04-07T13:19:00.001+05:30

"The Future Of India" by Swami Vivekananda

2009-04-07T13:17:00.000+05:30

Universal Acceptance of all religions - POH (Final Part)

2009-04-07T13:16:00.000+05:30

Hinduism, Buddhism and Jainism. - POH (Part XV)

2009-04-07T13:14:00.000+05:30

Contradictions in Hinduism? - Paper On Hinduism (Part XIV

2009-04-07T13:13:00.001+05:30

Polytheism, Pantheism, Idol Worship in Hinduism(Part XIII)

2009-04-07T13:12:00.001+05:30

Science and religion - Paper On Hinduism (Part XII)

2009-04-07T13:11:00.000+05:30

Mukthi - the ultimate freedom - POH (Part XI)

2009-04-07T13:10:00.000+05:30

Incident from Epic Mahabharath - POH (Part X)

2009-04-07T13:09:00.000+05:30

How to worship God - Paper On Hinduism (Part IX)

2009-04-07T13:08:00.000+05:30

Nature of God - Paper On Hinduism (Part VIII)

2009-04-07T13:07:00.000+05:30

How to get rid of problems - Paper On Hinduism (Part VII)

2009-04-07T13:06:00.000+05:30

Evolution of a Soul - Paper On Hinduism (Part VI)

2009-04-07T13:00:00.000+05:30

Life after death - Paper On Hinduism (Part V)

2009-04-07T12:59:00.000+05:30

Mind and the Matter - Paper On Hinduism (Part IV)

2009-04-07T12:58:00.000+05:30

Why should people suffer - Paper On Hinduism (Part III), by Swami Vivekananda

2009-04-07T12:56:00.000+05:30

Law of Creation - Paper On Hinduism - Part II, by Swami Vivekananda

2009-04-07T12:54:00.000+05:30

Religion of Vedas (paper on Hinduism - 1) by Swami Vivekananda

2009-04-07T12:51:00.001+05:30

In this piece of his Chicago speech on "Paper on Hinduism", Swami Vivekananda gives a brief introduction on Hinduism.

Swami Vivekanand's speech at Chicago(Welcome Address)

2009-04-07T12:41:00.002+05:30

You are what you want to be...

2009-04-01T14:29:00.002+05:30

I woke up early today, excited over all I get to do before the clock strikes midnight.

I have responsibilities to fulfill today. I am important. My job is to choose what kind of day I am going to have.

Today, I can complain because the weather is rainy or I can be thankful that the grass is getting watered for free.

Today, I can feel sad that I don't have more money or I can be glad that my finances encourage me to plan my purchases wisely and guide me away from waste.

Today, I can grumble about my health or I can rejoice that I am alive.

Today, I can lament over all that my parents didn't give me when I was growing up or I can feel grateful that they allowed me to be born.

Today, I can cry because roses have thorns or I can celebrate that thorns have roses.

Today, I can mourn my lack of friends or I can excitedly embark upon a quest to discover new relationships.

Today, I can whine because I have to go to work or I can shout for joy because I have a job to do.

Today, I can complain because I have to go to school or eagerly open my mind and fill it with rich new tidbits of knowledge.

Today, I can murmur dejectedly because I have to do housework or I can feel honored because the Lord has provided shelter for my mind, body and soul.

Today, stretches are ahead of me, waiting to be shaped. And here I am, the sculptor who gets to do the shaping.

What today will be like is up to me. I get to choose what kind of day I will have!

Have a "Great Day" ... unless you have other plans.

A man is as great as .....

2009-04-01T14:25:00.001+05:30

A man is as great as the dreams he dreams,
As great as the love he bears,
As great as the value he redeems,
And the happiness he shares.

A man is as great as the thoughts he thinks,
As the worth he has attained;
As the fountains at which his spirits drinks,
As the insight he has gained.

A man is as great as the truth he speaks,
As great as the help he gives,
As great as the destiny he seeks,
As great as the life he lives.

- C.E. Flynn..

Learning from the trees...

2009-04-01T14:20:00.003+05:30

Lessons From Trees

1. It's important to have roots.

2. In today's complex world, it pays to branch out.

3. If you really believe in something, don't be afraid to go out on a limb.

4. Be flexible so you don't break when a harsh wind blows.

5. Sometimes you have to shed your old bark in order to grow.

6. If you want to maintain accurate records, keep a log.

7. It's okay to be a late bloomer.

8. Avoid people who would like to cut you down.

9. As you approach the autumn of your life, you will show your true colors.

10.You could be Brilliant! In other words "bloom where you are planted"

POISON THAT KILLS DREAMS !!

2009-03-26T19:17:00.002+05:30

THE STATE OF MIND IS THE DECIDING FACTOR IN ALL SITUATIONS OF OUR LIFE !

People who inculcate positive thoughts achieve more, while peole with negative thoughts in their minds keep brooding...

Click here to download a wonderful presentation that can help you take better control of your life !

Formula for Success or Failure.....

2009-03-26T18:32:00.003+05:30

As we get to begin a wonderful day, few words come our way with the right formula for success.

A paper flying in the air is due to luck.
But a bird flying in air is its effort.

So, be a bird and struggle with hurdlesto become successful.

Friends, let us remember Success is never permanent, failure is never final.

So, always let us not stop trying until our victory becomes the sign of our history.

Click here to download a wonderful presentation on the subject.

Have a successful day ahead

Computer Shortcuts

2009-03-25T18:42:00.002+05:30

Many of us do not know and hence, do not use shortcuts on our computers. The shortcuts make our life very simple and easy. Try it out !

Click here to download this file in pdf format. You will need Adobe Reader installed in your computer to view this. It is a freely available software from www.adobe.com.

I Love Living Life. I Am Happy.( A must watch motivational movie for all)

2009-03-25T18:28:00.002+05:30

http://LifeWithoutLimbs.org

Nick Vujicic and his attitude serve as a great examples of the celebration of life over limitations.The human spirit can handle much more than we realize."I LOVE LIVING LIFE. I AM HAPPY."

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Think you've got it bad?Need some encouragement?Fallen down?Can't find the STRENGTH to get back up?Watch this video. It will help. Then share it with others.

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"If I fail, I try again, and again, and again..."If YOU fail, are YOU going to try again?It matters how you're going to FINISH...Are you going to finish STRONG?We are put in situations to build our character... not destroy us.The tensions in our life are there to strengthen our convictions... not to run over us.

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Nick is thankful for what he HAS.He's not bitter for what he does NOT have.I have never met a bitter person who was thankful.I have never met a thankful person who was bitter.In life you have a choice: Bitter or BETTER?

Women and leadership: Learning from the social sector

2009-03-25T18:22:00.002+05:30

Jacqueline Novogratz, CEO of Acumen Fund, shares lessons in leadership from her work in venture philanthropy.MARCH 2009

As a venture philanthropist, Acumen Fund’s Jacqueline Novogratz leads entrepreneurial projects across the globe—many of which put women at the helm of emerging local businesses. In this video interview, she discusses her experience developing other women leaders, the way they have shaped her own approach to leadership, and the different leadership cultures she sees at play in the public and private sectors.

This interview was conducted by Bill Javetski, an editor with the McKinsey Quarterly, in February 2009. It was recorded in the New York office of Acumen Fund.

The Quarterly: One of the secrets of your activity in building entrepreneurialism is focusing on women as workers. Can you talk about that?

Jacqueline Novogratz: I had been in Rwanda where I worked with a small group of women to start the first microfinance organization in the country and, simultaneously, a bakery with 20 unwed mothers. My own background has taught me a lot about the power of investing in women, because you do end up feeding a family and not just an individual.

I worry actually that the international-development community may, in focusing so much on the women, end up demoralizing and devaluing men even further. I don’t want to be glib about just investing in girls. We have to build healthy societies and we have to recognize that boys and girls develop differently and [we have to] find ways really to include, to value, to have high expectations, and to provide opportunity.

And so there’s this big, philosophical question around how do you hire, how do you encourage different behavior. Can you—in the dormitories—bring in other activities to bring in reproductive health, to help with microfinance and savings? There’s a really interesting platform here.

The Quarterly: Your story of the bakery in Rwanda was in large part a story about developing the women that you worked with there. What did you learn about leadership from their experience of developing into owners and operators of that business?

Jacqueline Novogratz: I went in as a leader with pure audaciousness. I didn’t have as much humility in that I just assumed—I’m the eldest of seven, I can do the Bad News Bears thing really well, I’m just going to cheer them on—without having the humility of really understanding what their starting place was.

After many mishaps, including having them steal from me and having them not really know how to sell—I mean they would look down the whole time and have to explain to me that they were considered prostitutes by many; for them to go and look somebody directly in the eye and shake their hands was not exactly a Rwandan-woman kind of thing—so I had to learn to have the humility myself to really listen to their perspectives, and yet not stop there; to have the audaciousness to say, “It’s a good starting point, but we want to get you to this other place.”

The real lesson for me was how that dignity is so much more important to the human spirit than wealth. And that what these women, as all of us, needed was to know that we could cover basic needs, but to have the power of being able to say no to things that we didn’t want, that we didn’t want to do. And so leadership as a way of inspiring, listening, and letting people, you know, grow themselves in their own way.

And it was a small experience in some ways, and yet one that I think about all the time that taught me so much about listening and dignity—and laughter as a really, really key component. The more stressed I got, the less anything worked; and the more we could laugh, the more we got done. And so that was probably another really big lesson.

I’m a big optimist. I really believe in setting impossible goals and then making them possible. And I really love people—and I think people feel that from me. So it’s probably that sometimes very confusing mix of optimism, idealism, but also high expectations, lots of discipline, and pragmatism.

Part of the journey that those of us who are privileged, which is pretty much everyone in this country, has to make is not being embarrassed by privilege or guilty for privilege or confused by privilege, but to start from that place of recognizing that your responsibility is to use that privilege in the best way you can to serve the world. And there are lots of ways of serving the world.

The Quarterly: Many women work in social sector, fewer in finance. Let’s say actually fewer lead in finance. You’ve succeeded in both. Any thoughts on the skill set, and why one isn’t more prevalent in the other area?

Jacqueline Novogratz: I think that girls really are relational, and what I love about finance—and what I love about accounting even, which is kind of embarrassing to admit—is it’s another form of storytelling. And if you could teach young people to find the stories in the combination of the balance sheet and the income statement, I think we would see a lot more girls taking leadership in finding that comfort.

I just did a panel for women on Wall Street, and what they spoke about was how rigid our financial institutions continue to be around integrating women into the workforce—particularly after they’ve had children—and that the rules are so driven by a different kind of discipline that the social sector has taken upon itself to reinvent. And that may be more to the point as to why we don’t see as many leaders—women leaders—in finance. It’s a much older club. It’s been driven by a stricter set of rules and expectations.

I have four brothers who all work on Wall Street, and I remember when one of my brothers’ wife had a child. And I said, “Well, is there, you know, paternity leave?” And he said, “Oh, yeah. We have the most liberal paternity leave on Wall Street—but I would never take it, because if I did, everybody would think I was, you know, wimpy.” And I think there’s great truth to that. So there’s a cultural piece that needs to be looked at. Whereas in the social sector, as a woman leader, you have the opportunity to invent the culture in which you want to work and thrive.

Young people often will come to me and say, “I really want to do this, but first I feel like I need to do A, B, C, D, and E.” In some ways I think we’ve put young people, especially, on a track where they have these expectations that they’re going to do one thing after another because that’s what everybody else does—and then they will get this freedom. And I think there are lots of different paths and that the path isn’t always clear, but you just should start; that work will teach you; and that I can’t imagine a more joyful way of living than a life when where you are serving in the spirit as equally of adventure as you are of change.

Courtesy: The Mckinsey Quarterly

Say NO and feel great!

2009-03-25T15:19:00.003+05:30

By Shalu Wasu

Saying no is perhaps the most important productivity tool that exists. Saying no is an art. It is also perhaps the most difficult thing to do for most people. I used to dread the occasions where I knew I will have to say no and I used to prepare for such situations for days. Now, I almost look forward to saying no to people and I actually enjoy the process! Find out how the change happened.

1. You are doing everyone a favour by saying no.
Whenever you are saying NO to someone, remember that it is for their benefit! By saying no, you are
• Giving the person an opportunity to look for someone who can do the job better.
• Avoiding negative feelings about the person.

2. Visualize the alternative (to saying no) in vivid detail.
• You will feel bad and will curse yourself for accepting the task.
• You will do a bad job.
• You will hate the person for putting this on to you.
• The person will hate you for doing a bad job.
• You should not have said yes, if you were not going to do a good job, the person will tell you later.

3. Remember what happened the last time you said yes!

4. Use the situation as an opportunity to build a better relationship.
If you like the person and don’t want to burn your bridges then having to say no can actually be a great opportunity to improve your relationship with this person. This is very much possible, provided you take the extra effort to honestly explain to the person why you cannot do this and why you value the relationship and that you really believe that by doing a half-baked job you will be hurting the relationship.

5. Enjoy!
Sometimes, saying no is just pure joy! The joy gets magnified if you do not provide any reasons at all!

6. Go overboard explaining why you cannot.
The explaining might make the person feel better than if you had said yes!

7. Use the big–picture test.
Focus on the big picture. What are your ultimate goals and objectives? Is this task in sync with your goals? If not, just say no and rest assured that you have made the correct decision.

8. Use a bit of cunning if you need to (in this order).
a. Negotiate. If you can take this off my plate, then I can do that. Or if I can get resources for this, then I can do that.
b. Postpone. Let me think about it and get back to you on email.
c. Deflect. I cannot do this BUT I can help you with that.
d. Bluff. Carry around your dummy calendar (choc a bloc of course) and show it to the person!
e. Throw the ball back. Ask for help in deciding how you should fit in the new task on the list of priorities (especially if it is your boss).
f. Lower expectations. Point out that you might be able to do everything, but not to the usual high standards that are expected.
g. Googly or curve ball. Say yes, then call back or SMS in the next 10 minutes to say why you cannot do it. Why 10 minutes? Well because that is the average time required for homo sapiens to come up with a good excuse.
h. Scare them off if nothing works! It’s just that I have this crazy flu and I don’t want you to get it

9. If they get really pushy, switch gears and think of it as a game.
There is no way you can say yes NOW! Smile and tell them so.

10. And before we end, here are a few statements for you to practice!

I have another commitment.
I have no experience with that.
I know you will do a wonderful job yourself.
I am in the middle of several projects.
I am not comfortable with that.
I need to leave some free time for myself.
I would rather decline than do a mediocre job.
I am not taking on any new responsibilities.
I would rather help out with another task.
Let me hook you up with someone who can do it.
I am not the most qualified person for the job.
I do not enjoy that kind of work.
I do not have any more room in my calendar.
I hate to split my attention among projects.
I need to focus more on my personal life.
I need to focus on my career right now.
Some things have come up that need my attention.
This really is not my strong point.

Shalu Wasu is a creativity consultant and trainer based in Singapore apart from being guest faculty at select institutes. To attend his one-day open programme on creativity on 15th January, 2009 at NUS, Singapore, please visit http://www.lifeahoy.sg/ or contact shalu@lifeahoy.sg.

The power of words

2009-03-25T15:16:00.002+05:30

Do you suffer from the “read my mind” syndrome?
By Dr. Ritu Arora

My brother Raj had a huge crush on this girl ever since his adolescent years. Now in his late thirties, he still blushes at the mention of her name. Today, she has 2 kids, and is happily married…to someone else. Why? He did not ask her to marry him, he never told her he loved her, or had a crush on her, and he never said she mattered.

“Ask and you shall receive. Seek and you shall find. Knock and the door shall be opened unto you.” These words of Christ express a natural law; mainly, the world responds to those who ask. Why then are we afraid to ask, to use those words.

During my school days, I used to dread competition, “what if I lose?” The habit continued, till about a year ago, when I did an inspirational speech. The speech was delivered, and I could almost see the winner’s trophy, when they announced, and winner is…XYZ. They didn’t announce my name. Sure enough, I had lost, or so I thought then.

A little while later an old acquaintance walked up to me. He put an arm around me and said, “Ritu, was what you said about your father having a near death experience, true?”

I confirmed it was. “You see, I have a special child, and I face a challenging situation at home every day, your speech fills me with hope.” I could see his eyes were moist.

A couple of days later, a friend called up, “Ritu, that speech of yours, the one about your father, well it inspired me so much, I hope some day I shall be able to inspire people like that.”

Another acquaintance had quoted the same speech for his icebreaker.

Then it happened! I realized that if I said something and someone made it a part of his/her life, I had touched a life. I hadn’t lost that contest. I had discovered something that worked. WORDS.
My favorite song by Boyzone runs, “It’s only words, and words are all I have…to take your heart away.”

It is indeed a pity to hear someone say, “If she really loved me, she would know how I feel.” Or worse, “We have so many arguments, maybe we aren’t meant for each other.”

My advice for such couples is that your better/bitter half is not a mind reader. Humans are capable of expressing through words, and experiencing infinite emotions. If you are arguing, congratulations, you are on way to getting to know the other person through the art of expression. Expecting someone to read your mind, is like putting a newspaper out in the sun and hoping it will burn. Use words as a magnifying glass, to direct the sun rays, and the paper will burn. Still suffering from the “read my mind” syndrome? My remedy is, marry a mind-reader, or better still date a brain scan.

My father used to say, “Words are like arrows, once out of the mouth, they can never be taken back, one needs to be careful with what one says!” Another powerful saying goes, “be careful, what you ask for may come true” What if you never asked for anything, you would never get what you could have got had you asked for it. You would never know what you missed. As a child I loved a pair of pink shoes that I saw once at a store. Every birthday, I would secretly hope that my parents or someone would gift me those shoes. Every birthday, you’ve guessed it, I didn’t get those shoes…because I didn’t ask for them. Last year, Christmas time I walked into the store with my mother, looked at the shoes and spoke out loud, “Ma, may I have these pink shoes, please?” Today, the shoes sit in my shoe-rack as a gift from mom.

Percy Ross has aid, “The world is full of genies waiting to grant your wishes.” You need to use those words, to marry the girl of your dreams, to influence someone, to get your emotions across to the person you love, or to get the shoes that you want. To learn what you can get you need to ask for what you want.

Often, when a person is gone, we give long eulogies, but how many of us bother to tell a person how wonderful he/she is while he is still with us. Use those magical words… be it “I love you” or “I am sorry” or “Will you be mine” or “This is what I meant” or “May I have this” or “You mean the world to me” or “You matter” or “You made a difference to my life”.

Use the power of words. Keep talking. Keep writing. Keep influencing!

–
Dr. Arora is a freelance corporate trainer, Reiki master, feng shui consultant and aromatherapist. A periodontist by education, a Toastmaster by passion, she has been actively associated with radio, theatre and fine arts. Visit her websites www.mentalsparks.com and www.camelliastory.com.

7 rules to become a master of interpersonal relationships

2009-03-25T15:07:00.002+05:30

Be a rays-of-sunshine experience for others

By Eric Garner

If you want to move up the ranks of masterful communication, you have to watch what you say to others. Not just in the showpieces of communication such as a presentation, a memo, or a meeting, but in everyday interaction. Learn these 7 rules and you can quietly and unobtrusively become a master of interpersonal relationships.

1. Be kind. No matter what you say or how you say it, at bottom your communication will always reveal your true thoughts and attitudes. As such, you always have two choices. You can communicate from a standpoint of love or from one of fear. When your communication is laced with sarcasm, blame, threat, anger, anxiety, worry, and control, you are essentially communicating fear. When your communication is laced with respect, appreciation, acceptance, joy, delight, wonder, and acceptance, you are essentially communicating love. If you don’t quite understand the difference, there is an easy way to communicate love not fear: always be kind.
“Words are but pictures of our thoughts.” (John Dryden 1631 – 1700)

2. Be aware of your effect on others. We often use language to criticize and attack others. Some people are masters of doing this in disguise; others do it openly. For many, communication is a battle that they have to win and words are their chief weapons of war. Harsh words can cut people deep and leave their scars for days if not years. That’s why the mark of the true communicator is to know what effect their words have on others and to adjust them accordingly.
“Some words are like rays of sunshine, others like barbed arrows, or the bite of a serpent. And if hard words cut so deep, how much pleasure can kind ones give?” (Sir John Lubbock 1834 – 1913)

3. Emphasize the positive. Really masterful communication doesn’t just depend on getting your message across or even clarifying what someone else is trying to say to you. It goes much deeper. Great communicators leave people feeling better than they did. They said something of value to the other person. Or they appreciated what the other person was saying to them. This happens when the communication isn’t just about the words; it’s about the people.
“There is a subterranean emotional economy that passes amongst all of us. In every interaction, we can make people feel better or worse.” (Daniel Coleman)

4. Don’t assume you’ve been understood. The history of relationships is littered with the history of misunderstood communications. A word gone awry here, a meaning missed there: they all add up to distorting your message and being mis-received.
The story is told of the teacher who handed out a set of worksheets to the pupil at the front of her class with the words, “Please pass these around”. She then turned her attention to the next topic. A few minutes later, she looked up to see the pupil at the back of the room sitting with all the worksheets wondering what to do with them.
As Stephen Covey reminds us, “First, seek to be understood; then understand.”

5. Know when to shut up. If you’ve ever attended a workplace meeting, you’ll know how hard it is to say nothing. Many people attend business meetings with the sole intention of talking, even if it isn’t relevant, even if the point has already been made. Talking is a way to impress. As a result, many meetings waste time and are unproductive. The best communicators are those who are secure enough to admit when they have little to say or little to add. They know when to shut up.
“If A equals success, then the formula is: A = X + Y + Z, where X is work, Y is play and Z is keep your mouth shut.” (Albert Einstein 1879 - 1955)

6. Don’t interrupt. If you’ve ever eavesdropped on a conversation between two people, you’ll probably have noticed that, instead of there being a progression of ideas building one on top of the other, most people talk over one another. It resembles a contest more than a dialogue. It is rare to see people listening with openness and non-judgment until the other person has stopped speaking. And even rarer to hear people asking for clarification and help with understanding. But holding back while you listen to others is the mark of the real communications expert.
“There is no such thing as conversation. It is an illusion. There are intersecting monologues, that’s all.” (Rebecca West)

7. Don’t gossip. Gossip is a particularly pernicious form of communication. It is idle, often indulged in merely to pass the time, and serves no real purpose other than to make ourselves feel better at the expense of others. If you work with others who like to gossip, simply learn the trick of disengagement: don’t reply, don’t be drawn in, and never do it yourself.
“Great minds think and talk about ideas. Average minds think and talk about situations. Little minds think and talk about other people.”

Working on improving your communications is a broad-brush activity. You have to change your thoughts, your feelings, and your physical connections. That way you can break down the barriers that get in your way and start building relationships that really work. Communicate with others like rays of sunshine, not poisoned arrows.

–
Eric Garner is one of the foremost leaders in management and personal development with a personal guarantee to make you a better manager, trainer, and learner. His company, ManageTrainLearn, runs corporate training programmes in the UK and since 2002 has published a website at www.managetrainlearn.com that provides a wide range of exclusive digital learning products.

Why is it good for you to be a vegetarian?

2009-03-25T14:58:00.003+05:30

By Chitra Jha

In this new age, vegetarianism has become the buzz word around the globe. More and more people are turning vegetarians. Celebrities are endorsing vegetarianism. What is this craze all about? We, in India, have known the virtues of this sattvic eating habit for eons. Let us revisit these eternal truths and freshen our perspective. Let me clarify here that vegetarian food means food from the plant kingdom. All dairy products are as much animal food as meat and eggs are. Even though in our culture we have always considered milk and milk products as vegetarian, we cannot deny the fact that these come from animals and are technically animal products.

Some of the arguments for eating food from the plant sources are categorized here.

Environmental issues
• Vegetarianism helps conserve fossil fuel in a major way. Studies have shown that it takes 35 calories of fossil fuel to produce 1 calorie of mutton; 22 calories of fossil fuel for 1 calorie of poultry; but just 1 calorie of fossil fuel for 1 calorie of vegetables. By eating plant food we can help conserve our non-renewable sources of energy.

• It has been observed that it takes about 3 to 15 times as much water to produce animal food, as it does to produce plant food. Thus by becoming vegetarian we can conserve our water resources.

• It is seen that it takes about 5-10 kilogram of plant matter and grains to produce one kilogram of animal protein. By eating this vegetarian food directly (and not through the animals) we can save a lot of this food material to feed all the hungry people in this world.

• Plant foods have a longer shelf life than animal foods. One needs to spend more energy in preserving animal food products, thus exacerbating the energy crisis.

Health issues
• The plant food takes care of all the nutrient needs. If we eat enough fruits and vegetables we will not suffer from any nutrient deficiency. On the other hand animal foods are largely deficient in vitamins, except for vitamin B complex.

• Everyone knows that the animal foods are higher in fat and cholesterol than the plant foods. Animal foods are also high in protein content. This causes excess nitrogen in the blood; leading to many health problems. By eating vegetarian food, we can say goodbye to many bothersome diseases, such as heart diseases, osteoporosis, kidney stones, gall stones, diabetes, multiple sclerosis, arthritis, gum disease, obesity and acne.

• Animal food is totally deficient in carbohydrates, which are essential for good health.

• Animal foods contain far higher concentrations of agricultural chemicals than plant foods.

• Most of the animals are given drugs such as steroids, antibiotics, and growth hormones. These drugs are consumed by us humans when we consume meat.

• There are many bacteria and viruses that thrive on animal foods, when we eat these foods we end up eating these organisms as well. It is not as if the plant foods do not have any micro-organisms, but their number is nowhere near as much as in meat products.

• Animal products take rather long to digest. They keep putrefying in the colon, creating intestinal toxemia. It is a well known fact that the condition of the intestinal flora is critical to overall health of the body. Vegetarian food travels quickly through the gastro-intestinal tract.• Plant foods are high in fibre content. Fibre absorbs unwanted, excess fats; cleans the intestines; provides bulk and helps in peristaltic movement; ensuring regular bowel movements. Meat, poultry, and dairy products are deficient in fibre content.

• Animal foods contain the body wastes of the animals such as adrenaline, uric acid, and lactic acid.

• When we consume plant foods we consume a chlorophyll module which is very similar to our hemoglobin.

• Plant foods contain trace elements that not only nurture our cells, but are precursors of all our genetic material.

• Animal food is primarily acidic in nature. It leaves behind an acidic residue after digestion. This acid upsets the delicate pH balance of our body. A chronically over-acidic pH ratio begins to corrode body tissues, produces neuro-toxins, interrupts all cellular functions and generally creates havoc with our health. However, some of the plant foods are also acidic in nature, and should be avoided e.g. alcohol, coffee, white bread, oatmeal, sugar, tobacco, chillies, and all packaged and processed foods.

• Raw plant foods such as fruits detoxify our bodies, increase immunity, and improve our skin and hair.

Economic issues
• Vegetarian foods cost much less than non-vegetarian foods. So being vegetarian makes a lot of economic sense.

• When we eat vegetarian foods, we stay healthier; thus saving on health care expenses.

Ethical issues
• If we love animals, we have no desire to kill them for food.

• Our body has been designed in a way to make us natural herbivores. Our hands, teeth, feet, intestinal tract…all are different from those of carnivorous species.

• Mahatma Gandhi promoted the spirit of non-violence, but this spirit can’t be fostered if we indulge in killing animals.

• There can be no peace in the world, if we declare war on other species for food.

• There are many substitutes available in the vegetable kingdom to satisfy all taste buds.

Spiritual issues
• Plant foods carry an inner light; both philosophically and biologically, as natural sunlight is a vital ingredient of plant foods. This light nourishes our physical body, mind, and spirit.

• Plant foods keep us healthy. These healthy cells have a harmonic frequency that raises our overall energy vibration.

• Plant food is rich in natural energy, vital for self-transformation.

• Ellen G. White the famous writer of early twentieth century said, “Whatever affects the body has a corresponding effect on the mind and soul.” In other words, what we eat affects our consciousness.

These are some of the factors that are making vegetarianism a fashion and health statement. I do not expect you to change your food habits based on what I have enumerated. However, if you keep an open mind and verify these truths in your own life, I am certain that you will feel inclined to turn vegetarian! Three cheers to that!!!

Chitra Jha is a trainer of a refreshing genre. She conducts tailor-made workshop on Enlightened Living, Enlightened Healing, Enlightened Parenting, Enlightened Eating, Enlightened Death, Past Life Regression and Spiritual Science. She does one-on-one sessions and small group therapy sessions as well. Contact chitrajhaa@gmail.com.

Successful teams: 50 quick tips

2009-03-25T14:49:00.002+05:30

By D Murlidharan

Teamwork is not rocket science, and mostly a matter of common sense. Here are 50 simple but powerful ways you could make teamwork work.

1. Act with integrity; this is one quality that will make a great team.

2. Credibility as a team-leader is mostly as good as only it is perceived. So display credibility and act with credibility.

3. Walk the talk, you get judged well only when you walk the talk. Example: if you are asking for quality work, it’s a given that you also would do the same. Doing the other way destroys credibility.

4. Be enthusiastic; encourage the team to be enthusiastic as well.

5. Never hire in haste, which makes waste.

6. Educate the team on who your customer is, who your competition is.

7. Create a mechanism to know what is happening in competition.

8. Let the team know that the customer is supreme, and he is your most important asset.

9. Give no room for politics in your team. At the hint of it, stem it at the root; and exhibit the fact that politicking is a strict no-no.

10. Communicate personally as often as possible; use the phone; only re-iterate in written communication.

11. Smile and laugh in the team, work need not be serious as most of us would think it to be.

12. Share the joy of any of your team-members.

13. Share and partake in their sorrows. Give a helping hand, in whichever way you can when a need arises.

14. Make the team workplace a fun place to be; again laugh and smile.

15. Show the team member how happy you are to have him/her in the team.

16. Celebrate each of your team-members birthdays, anniversary… pass on gifts voluntarily.

17. Have a vision statement for the team; in line with the organization’s vision statement.

18. Make the purpose of the team clear – it could be revenues, number of customers, turn around time, producing so many units… whatever.

19. Let this purpose be written down and shared amongst all team members.

20. Set individual goals clearly – leave no ambiguity in this – make it measurable for them as well as you.

21. Clear state the expected quality of work, and quantity of work – on a day, for a week, for the month, and for the year.

22. Go out of your way to help a team member reach the stated goal.

23. Make each of them feel that he/she can confide in you.

24. Understand and talk to them of their job-goals and career goals.

25. Make learning a team habit. Encourage learning in any form.

26. Train the team in relevant and contemporary work skills.

27. Build the team on the strength of his/her personal qualities.

28. Don’t brood on their weaknesses. Or pass comments on them.

29. Make them aware of the business opportunities and threats, and the way to remain in a position of advantage.

30. Build a lot of fun around the goals.. make work interesting…..

31. Celebrate small milestones, by any team member, and shower praises in public

32. Celebrate and reward team ideas, which would bring in better results, fresh insights, and knowledge to all – and celebrate this each and every time.

33. Discourage yes-men. If two people agreed on everything, then one of them is redundant.

34. Show the team members a growth path – a path that would be intertwined with positive contribution.

35. Reward excellence. Abhor mediocrity.

36. Do not reprimand team members. Grown ups don’t need to be reprimanded; they only need to be counseled or advised.

37. Allow people to make mistakes, which are the only way you get a learning team. Sans mistakes, no new things are going to happen.

38. Make corrections well in time; not once in a blue moon. Once in a blue moon corrections upset the person, you and the team objectives.

39. Evince interest in each individual; know them a little more than professionally – their family, their interests, passion, hobbies etc.

40. Go for lunch once a week outside the office campus; this is by far the best way to bond.

41. Get the families of teams together once a month. If the teams are cross location, make it at least once in a quarter.

42. Be transparent and rational in all decision making.

43. Be objective and not subjective in any of your deeds at work, and related to work.

44. Make incentive plans objective, simple and clear. Complicated plans lead to a lack of uniform understanding across the team. This colors judgment, and defeats the team spirit.

45. Take personal interest to ensure that all pay-out timelines are adhered to by the organization and the divisions.

46. State clearly that a performer would have a soft corner, and would be rewarded.

47. Reward performers often. And for the accomplishments.

48. Keep team meetings brief, and with a stated objective and agenda.

49. Do not meet formally without a written agenda circulated.

50. Build in a surprise element in rewards for small wins – this could be internal or external to the organization – could be a new client acquired, a new proposal, a cost saving measure, a new idea, whatever…

–
Muralidharan is an HR practitioner and a recruitment professional. A strong believer in spreading cheer and positivity, Murali currently works out of Chennai and is a voracious reader and a prolific writer.

16 habits of highly creative people...

2009-03-25T14:41:00.003+05:30

If they work for them, they can work for you too!

By Shalu Wasu

Here are 16 habits of creative people. If you cultivate some of them, you will feel an increase in your level of creativity. In the process, you will also feel tickled by life!

1. Creative people are full of curiosity.
Creative people are wonderstruck. They are tickled by the newness of every moment. They have lots of questions. They keep asking what, why, when, where and how.
A questioning mind is an open mind. It is not a knowing mind. Only an open mind can be creative. A knowing mind can never be creative.
A questioning stance sensitizes the mind in a very special way and it is able to sense what would have been missed otherwise.

2. Creative people are problem-friendly.
When there is a problem, some people can be seen wringing up their hands. Their first reaction is to look for someone to blame. Being faced with a problem becomes a problem. Such people can be called problem-averse.
Creative people, on the other hand, are problem-friendly. They just roll up their sleeves when faced with a problem. They see problems as opportunities to improve the quality of life. Being faced with a problem is never a problem.
You get dirty and take a bath every day. You get tired and relax every day. Similarly, you have problems that need to be solved every day. Life is a fascinating rhythm of problems and solutions.
To be problem-averse is to be life-averse. To be problem-friendly is to be life-friendly. Problems come into your life to convey some message. If you run away from them, you miss the message.

3. Creative people value their ideas.
Creative people realize the value of an idea. They do not take any chance with something so important. They carry a small notepad to note down ideas whenever they occur.
Many times, just because they have a notepad and are looking for ideas to jot down, they can spot ideas which they would have otherwise missed.

4. Creative people embrace challenges.
Creative people thrive on challenges. They have a gleam in their eyes as soon as they sniff one. Challenges bring the best out of them – reason enough to welcome them.

5. Creative people are full of enthusiasm.
Creative people are enthusiastic about their goals. This enthusiasm works as fuel for their journey, propelling them to their goals.

6. Creative people are persistent.
Creative people know it well that people may initially respond to their new ideas like the immune system responds to a virus. They’ll try to reject the idea in a number of ways.
Creative people are not surprised or frustrated because of this. Nor do they take it personally. They understand it takes time for a new idea to be accepted. In fact, the more creative the idea, the longer it takes for it to be appreciated.

7. Creative people are perennially dissatisfied.
Creative people are acutely aware of their dissatisfactions and unfulfilled desires. However, this awareness does not frustrate them. As a matter of fact, they use this awareness as a stimulus to realize their dreams.

8. Creative people are optimists.
Creative people generally have a deeply held belief that most, if not all, problems can be solved. No challenge is too big to be overcome.
This doesn’t mean they are always happy and never depressed. They do have their bad moments but they don’t generally get stumped by a challenge.

9. Creative people make positive Judgment.
A new idea is delicate. It can be killed by a sneer or a yawn. It can be stabbed to death by a quip and worried to death by a right man’s brow – a businessman Charles Brower
The ability to hold off on judging or critiquing an idea is important in the process of creativity. Often great ideas start as crazy ones - if critique is applied too early the idea will be killed and never developed into something useful and useable.
This doesn’t mean there is no room for critique or judgment in the creative process but there is a time and place for it and creative people recognize that.

10. Creative people go for the big kill.
Creative people realize that the first idea is just the starting point. It is in the process of fleshing it out that some magical cross-connections happen and the original ‘normal’ idea turns into a killer idea.

11. Creative people are prepared to stick it out.
Creative people who actually see their ideas come to fruition have the ability to stick with their ideas and see them through - even when the going gets tough. This is what sets them apart from others. Stick-ability is the key.

12. Creative people do not fall in love with an idea.
Creative people recognize how dangerous it is to fall in love with an idea. Falling in love with an idea means stopping more ideas from coming to their mind. They love the process of coming up with ideas, not necessarily the idea.

13. Creative people recognize the environment in which they are most creative.
Creative people do most of their thinking in an environment which is most conducive to their creativity. If they are unable to influence their physical environment, they recreate their ‘favourite’ creative environment in their minds.

14. Creative people are good at reframing any situation.
Reframes are a different way of looking at things. Being able to reframe experiences and situations is a very powerful skill.
Reframing allows you to look at a situation from a different angle. It is like another camera angle in a football match. And a different view has the power to change your entire perception of the situation.
Reframing can breathe new life into dead situations. It can motivate demoralized teams. It helps you to spot opportunities that you would have otherwise missed.

15. Creative people are friends with the unexpected.
Creative people have the knack of expecting the unexpected and finding connections between unrelated things. It is this special quality of mind that evokes serendipitous events in their lives.
Having honed the art of making happy discoveries, they are able to evoke serendipity more often than others.

16. Creative people are not afraid of failures.
Creative people realize that the energy that creates great ideas also creates errors. They know that failure is not really the opposite of success.
In fact, both failure and success are on the same side of the spectrum because both are the result of an attempt made. Creative people look at failure as a stopover on way to success, just a step away from it.

Shalu Wasu is a Singapore based trainer and consultant. Among other things, he conducts open programs on Creativity and Innovation and Blogging for Business at NUS extension. Visit http://www.lifeahoy.sg/ to find out more about the programs.

What I Learned Being a Parent...

2009-03-25T14:35:00.001+05:30

By Ron Afable

Becoming a parent is embarking on a journey that never ends. Parenting may take different forms and functions as time progresses, but I believe no one ceases being one. Long after your child outgrows you, and leaves you, you remain the parent that loves and cares for him as much as when he was still a baby.

I believe these are universal, so I have forgone with the usual candy-flavored bullet-list to share with you some of the things I learned from being a parent. Here they are:
HOPE AND DREAM UNSELFISHLY

It is intrinsic, “human nature,” to dream and aspire for wonderful things. As a child you wanted the best toys, you wanted the yummiest foods, or you want to be the best in class. As a teen, you wanted to be better looking, you wanted a bike, or you wanted to be the first to have a car. As an adult, you want to have the latest car model, you want to have freedom in everything, you want to have the best job, or want to work less for more.

When you fell in love, you relish how your loved one makes you feel; and you plan for things that would make the two of you happy TOGETHER, and FOREVER. So you dream of a nice home and a nice life with your spouse. However, if your toy, your job, or your girlfriend ceases to amuse you, you dump them.

Do you notice the pattern? From childhood, and until you marry, YOU are at the center of your plans. Your toys, your material possessions, your friends, your career—and to a certain level, even your wife, are YOUR desires, your sources of self-gratification. Isn’t it true that if your wife ceases to love you (or you cease to love her) divorce seems to be temptingly sitting just around the corner?

When I became a parent everything changed with the way I planed and dreamed. My baby is at the center of everything—and I wasn’t even thinking about it. All I cared for was how to give my baby the best in the world—unconditionally. My dreams and aspirations ended being centered on what I want, or what makes me happy. I started dreaming and planning for somebody else, and I didn’t care whether this somebody else is going to repay me back, or love me for it, or if I break my back fulfilling this dream. I just started dreaming for another human being’s sake and it was the most natural thing in the universe.

What makes your spouse happy makes you happy. But if he/she starts to make your life miserable, you want to start looking somewhere else. While the church teaches you to give unconditional love, with your spouse, sometimes, it is easier said than done. But with your child, nobody has to teach you unconditional love—it just comes out naturally, even to the most callous of souls.

RICH DAD, POOR DAD
No, I’m not going to talk to you about how to get rich as how Robert Kiyosaki did in his “Rich Dad, Poor Dad” superseller. This is all about “parenting”—the verb. It is easy to assume that being the “parent” (noun), takes care of everything. It is easy to assume that “parenthood” is a God-given status and no one should question this.

My parents are the most wonderful parents anyone could ask for, especially (or despite) that both have less in life but a lot to give. My father did not finish high school and works as a lowly labourer, and my mother barely reached college. However, it was all she needed to help me become a better student. She was a cleaning lady for a college university, and she drowned me with books borrowed from the library. Because of poverty I became the only “wealth” and happiness of my parents.

When you are raised by poor, deficiently-schooled parents, you grow with hard work on your back. I had to wake up early every school day to cook and do the laundry while others were still asleep. I had to walk to school while others rode in flashy cars. And most importantly, I had to study harder to keep a scholarship while others played.

I promised myself I am not going to let my children suffer the hardships I had when I was their age. I ended up working so hard that I became just the “parent” (noun) without doing the “parenting” (verb). I relegated “parenting” to “providing.” I became the “rich Dad” who was providing my kid everything except my time.

As opposed to how my “poor Dad” treated me, happiness centered on my success. The resulting material possession—and my son, just became a part of it. I was living under the notion that I am the “parent” regardless of whether I exercise my parental role or not. I could never be more wrong. Being a father and a provider are entirely different things.

NATURE VS. NURTURE
Parenting is more than that process of genetic transfer. Just like in any other relationship, you have to nurture it. I only came to realise this folly when I started working from home and I saw how my 15-year old son talks to his Mom and never to me. When I expected him to be glad seeing more of me around, it was the exact opposite.

Now, I’m trying to catch up on lost time. What is sad is, I can no longer take back the years I missed being with him. He is already 15 years old, and it won’t be long before he leaves us. I would feel empty. My being very close with my younger children does not makes my communication gap with the eldest any easier. But this is what I learned, and I learned it the hard way. I’m not gonna let the same happen with the younger ones.

To my fellow fathers, it is very easy to get caught in life’s rat race. Never forget why you are out there working in the first place. Stephen Covey, in his “7 Habits of Highly Effective People” hit the nail on its head when he said “Begin with the end in mind.” Nurture and love your children. Talk to them and hug them every chance you get. By the time they’re older, you won’t have that much chance anymore.

–
This article has been contributed by our friends at The Asian Parent. Visit them for more articles and resources on parenting at www.theasianparent.com.

Make your personal vision statement now!

2009-03-25T14:30:00.001+05:30

And soak yourself in accomplishments, happiness, satisfaction and success!!

By D Murlidharan

Did you think that vision statements or credos are only for organizations and not for you and me? It’s time for a reality check.

The most important driving force of any successful and contended individual is his or her ‘vision statement’. And this statement can be made by the person at any point in life, by thinking and writing down what he/she thinks are important and priorities to life…on the personal front, family, work, friends and so on. On giving the values and priorities a considered thought, they shall be written down in the form of a ‘personal vision statement’ or ‘credo’.

Once this is done, this will be the beacon that will guide each and every action of the owner of the ‘vision statement’.

The time spent on making a ‘vision statement’ for yourself, will be worth more than its weight, not in gold, but the most expensive metal in the world. Just think of the fact that at every point and step in any facet of your life, you will be subconsciously guided by your ‘vision statement’ of which you and only YOU were the author.

Let me give a simple example of my own case. About a couple of years ago, on reading extensively about the value of personal written vision statements, I just spent about a day thinking of what my priorities in life would be, and what value systems would guide me on-course. Concluding the thought process, this was the ‘vision statement’ written down.
“…will be a successful man who will nurture his family with love and affection, provide them a better and comfortable future. He will embark on any step that will directly or indirectly contribute to this mission. He will live life with integrity, full of smiles, and radiate the same wherever and however he is. His career will be full of creative contribution to the positions he shall hold. He will become famous for his writings.”

Once I wrote this, and kept a few copies of it with me, I went through it time and again, probably for a few months. In hindsight, I can state emphatically that I have been guided by this ‘vision statement’ in all my deeds - be it at home, at the workplace, or anywhere and anything done, for that matter.

Think of what you want to do, what you want to accomplish, what will be your guiding values in each of your actions and steps…. And put down this, in the form of a concise vision statement. This ‘vision statement’ can change and evolve, and be written and re-written time and again, by introspection.

Write your vision statement NOW. And see success and accomplishment in all you do…success and accomplishment as defined and set forth by you. Because that is what is your command to your mind, body and soul to act on consistently.

So today, and just now, please sit down and think of what should be your vision statement. Consult your parents, your spouse and kids if need be and make sure that you have a written vision statement before you retire for the day.

Make a few copies of your ‘vision’ statement, and leave it in places which you will see it often, may be 2 to 3 times a day. Carry a copy of that in your wallet. Make a public commitment – be it to your spouse, friends, and confidante about your vision.

The result of this easy and simple exercise will be there to see for the rest your life…and you/your family shall soak in nothing but accomplishments, happiness, satisfaction, success.

Life Before Computers! (Humor)

2009-03-25T14:13:00.002+05:30

An application was for employment.

A program was a TV show.

A cursor used profanity.

And a keyboard was on a piano!

Memory was something that you lost with age.

And a CD was a bank account.

And if you had a corrupted disk,

It would hurt when you found out!

Compress was what you did to garbage .

Not something you did to a file .

And if you unzipped anything in public You'd be in jail for a while!

Log on was adding wood to a fire .

A hard drive was a trip on the road.

A mouse pad was where a mouse lived .

And a backup happened to the commode!

Cutting, you did with a pocket knife,

Pasting, you did with glue.

The Web was where a spider lived .

And a virus was the flu!

Motivation: A to Z steps to motivated success.

2009-03-25T14:09:00.002+05:30

By Howard Platt

Motivation is the key to all success. There are many factors in life that determine the amount of motivation we have at any given time. Pain can be a motivator as well as pleasure. The degree to which we desire to have something or some situation is another motivator. Desire and determination has the ability to spark our motivation into a particular path. Ultimately it is what is inside us all that determines our level of motivation in live.

With the countless negativity’s the world brings about, how do we keep motivated? Try on the tips I prepared from A to Z…

A - Achieve your dreams. Avoid negative people, things and places. Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “the future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.” Consume yourself with the motivation to achieve tremendous results from everything you attempt.

B - Believe in your self, and in what you can do. Motivation comes from within, if you trust in your abilities you will come out on top.

C - Consider things on every angle and aspect. Motivation comes from determination. To be able to understand life, you should feel the sun from both sides. Never say never, there is a way of accomplishing anything if you keep an open mind and never give up.

D - Don’t give up and don’t give in. Thomas Edison failed once, twice, more than thrice before he came up with his invention and perfected the incandescent light bulb. Make motivation as your steering wheel. The only way you lose for sure is when you quit.

E - Enjoy. Work as if you don’t need money. Dance as if nobody’s watching. Love as if you never cried. Learn as if you’ll live forever. Motivation takes place when people are happy. Maintain a positive attitude under any circumstance. Fill your mind with positive thoughts and the whole world will be your playground.

F - Family and Friends - are life’s greatest ‘F’ treasures. Don’t loose sight of them. So often we look past our greatest treasures, remain motivated to always seek the treasures in your family bonds.

G - Give more than what is enough. Where does motivation and self improvement take place? At work? At home? At school? When you exert extra effort in doing things. Try to give more than what is asked of you, this shows true self motivation.

H - Hang on to your dreams. They may dangle in there for a moment, but these little stars will be your driving force. Dreams keep us motivated to go after the things that excite us in life. Holding onto your dreams shows a strength in your character of positive expectations.

I - Ignore those who try to destroy you. Don’t let other people to get the best of you. Stay away from toxic people - the kind of friends who hates to hear about your success. Surround yourself with positive people and you will all keep each other motivated to seek out the positives in life.
J - Just be yourself. The key to success is to be yourself. And the key to failure is to try to please everyone. Believe in your strengths and live by your positive terms.

K - keep trying no matter how hard life may seem. When a person is motivated, eventually he sees a harsh life finally clearing out, paving the way to self improvement. Motivation keeps you striving for the best, hang onto the values brought on through positive thinking.

L - Learn to love yourself. Now isn’t that easy? You cannot give love to others unless you love yourself. Learn how to motivate yourself into working on your own personal development. You will never grow as a person until you learn to take responsibility for your own self improvement.
M - Make things happen. Motivation is when your dreams are put into work clothes. Motivation is one of the strongest characteristics you can have. When you live your life filled with motivation you become a person who really gets things done.

N - Never lie, cheat or steal. Always play a fair game. A person with a good moral standing will go further in life than an unmotivated cheat. Never look for short-cuts to good things, this will lead to missed opportunities and challenging possibilities.

O - Open your eyes. People should learn the horse attitude and horse sense. They see things in 2 ways - how they want things to be, and how they should be. Life is full of possibilities, keep the motivation to go after the wonders in the world.

P - Practice makes perfect. Practice is about motivation. It lets us learn repertoire and ways on how can we recover from our mistakes. Maintaining the motivation to work hard towards the things you truly want out of life will bring you more rewards than sitting back and expecting things to happen.

Q - Quitters never win. And winners never quit. So, choose your fate - are you going to be a quitter? Or a winner?

R - Ready yourself. Motivation is also about preparation. We must hear the little voice within us telling us to get started before others will get on their feet and try to push us around. Remember, it wasn’t raining when Noah build the ark. The boy scout motto is “Be Prepared” and this is a way of life we should all adapt to.

S - Stop procrastinating. Nothing kills motivation more then procrastination. Choose to spend your time accomplishing positive things in your life.

T - Take control of your life. Discipline or self control jives synonymously with motivation. Both are key factors in self improvement. When you know what you want out of life and you are motivated to work towards the attainment of your dreams, you will accomplish more then the average person lacking motivation.

U - Understand others. If you know very well how to talk, you should also learn how to listen. Yearn to understand first, and to be understood the second. Understanding another persons problems in life and being motivated to offer help to others, builds your own character.

V - Visualize it. Motivation without vision is like a boat on a dry land. Your mind can bring you whatever you desire in life. Visualize success and success will be yours, visualize defeat or loss and failure will encompass your life. Maintain the motivation to visualize success and achievements.

W - Want it more than anything. Dreaming means believing. And to believe is something that is rooted out from the roots of motivation and self improvement. When you have strong wants this leads to the motivation to attain what you truly desire.

X - X Factor is what will make you different from the others. When you are motivated, you tend to put on “extras” on your life like extra time for family, extra help at work, extra care for friends, and so on. Set yourself apart from others, stand out in the crowd, hold your head up high with pride and conviction.

Y - You are unique. No one in this world looks, acts, or talks like you. Value your life and existence, because you’re just going to spend it once. Use the fact that you are one of a kind to excel at everything you do in life. True motivation is for you and you alone, use it to move forward in life, show your uniqueness.

Z - Zero in on your dreams and go for it!!! Never lose your motivation to go after your dreams because living your dreams means you are living your life.

————————
The level of our personal motivation is usually determined by the strength of our own personal development. If you are interested in more relevant information to help you with your own motivation please visit:http://www.positive-thinking-for-you.com/

http://www.nlp-self-help.com/

Success…and why nothing succeeds like it.

2009-03-25T14:07:00.000+05:30

By D Murlidharan

All of us hope to succeed in our endeavours. All of us do wish that hope to get real. For the hope to get real, let us first know what the phrase ‘Nothing succeeds like success’ means. It means that nothing succeeds like ‘having successes in the mind’. And once you have the ideation or thought of success in the mind, all the mind and body energies manifest as success in real life – in all the acts and deeds, be it at home, work, business ventures, social causes…be it whatever.

Without a seed of thought of success in the mind, no amount of gargantuan effort will invite success in reality. After all, isn’t all we need and want first created in the mind, and then subsequently in reality? With that being so, how can ‘success’ be any different? To attain success, extend it, and multiply it to all facets of life. First and foremost, feel it in the mind.

So being a successful man, woman, son, daughter, boss, subordinate…is first thought and rehearsed in the mind. It is only this dress rehearsal in our mind that transforms itself into real success in every walk of life.

Nothing succeeds like success, is also putting the famous ‘law of attraction’ to work for us. One single and continuous thought of success in the mind, attracts more and more success in the mind, and that one thought in the mind manifesting to reality, attracts the manifestation of all thoughts of success into reality, thus creating successful lives for us.

Right now, commit to planting that seed of success thought in your mind. Think more success, attract more success. Fill your life with success. After all, nothing succeeds like success. Nothing will ever succeed like having success in our minds.

Muralidharan is an HR practitioner and a recruitment professional. A strong believer in spreading cheer and positivity, Murali currently works out of Chennai and is a voracious reader and a prolific writer.

The art of Self-Realization - Right behaviour for your body and mind.

2009-03-25T14:01:00.002+05:30

By Hans Dholakia

My Grand Master Sri Yukteswar ji would always say, “Learn to behave.” Three simple words are these, but a vast spectrum of meaning, as we can see. Let us understand.The world is our extended Self. If I want to get along with others, I must first learn to get along with myself. Now, to get along with myself, I have to know myself - or shall we say, I must know my Self? Most of us are ’strangers’ unto ourselves - how can one get alongwith a ’stranger’?

In the scriptures of my motherland, India, we compare human beings with a chariot with 5 horses. The 5 sense-faculties (seeing, tasting, hearing, smelling and touching) are the 5 steeds, wayward and unruly, running amuck towards the sense-objects. To control them, we have a rein, which is our sensory mind. It is called the lower mind (manas) because its domain is just two-fold, “I like it” and “I don’t like it.” It is pleasure-driven, being sense-enslaved.

The rein is necessary but not enough. There must be an able charioteer to hold fast the reins. He is our higher mind - the reason, the discerning or discriminating faculty. It is called buddhi in Sanskrit. Its domain extends to deciding whether what is pleasant is also good, and whether the unpleasant things the lower (sensory) mind is rejecting could actually be good for us.
The creamy cake may look temptingly pleasant to the diabetic, but reason tells him it is bad. Early morning walks look so unpleasant, so unthinkable, but if you make it, you are empowered by discriminating reason, that which eventually benefits you. When anger comes on, you want to slap the other person, but reason tells you to hold.

Let us see what right behavior means at various levels of our being - physical, mental, emotional, intellectual & spiritual, etc.

Right behaviour for your body
Your body is not you. You have it, but you are not the body. Treat it like a good employer would treat his employee, giving it its rightful dues, but not pampering it. For example, when you want to eat, find out whether it’s your body’s genuine need (appetite) or your mind’s endless greed (desire). When the body feels tired, find out if it is actually fatigued from overwork or just being lazy, and so on. A Christian saint called his body ‘brother donkey.’ Indeed, the body is the animal in us, our dear beast of burden. Since our aim is to love all, we cannot ignore the body - especially since it is the soul’s vehicle. But we have to remember to treat it wisely - without cruelty, without indulgence.

Right behaviour for the mind
The mind indeed is a drunken, drugged and devil-possessed monkey, unless we learn to control it. The body is much simpler in comparison. We can dominate the body through will. But managing the mind monkey is not a game of just willpower. We need wisdom - a wisdom-guided will. For example, if you order the mind not to think any more a particular thought that it has been chattering about, it is unlikely to obey unless you know the subtle rules.

Why is it so difficult to control the mind? If you know the reason, you will know the cure. The reason is, the sensory mind has excess prana or life-force; it is hyperactive and restless by nature. The mind’s restless habits of thought and action get programmed or hard-wired in the brain, which is the seat of energy or life-force. The brain then drives further habit-driven or reactive actions.

My master, Paramahansa Yogananda, author of ‘Autobiography of a Yogi’ (http://www.yogananda.org/) explains that the energy in the brain is spent in various bodily functions like blood circulation, breathing (movements of diaphragm), digestion, chemicalization, excretion etc., but that most of its energy is wasted in processing our useless or misguided thoughts, feelings and emotions that our big brother mind indulges in.

If somehow the mind’s excessive energy (energy is where the consciousness is), routed through the brain, can be regulated and harnessed, not only will the monkey-mind get quieter, there will be energy available for so many worthy tasks. So we have an energy crisis at micro-level too!
This taming of energy or life-force (prana) is called pranayama in yoga, which is a marvellous super-science for body-mind-soul harmony, but many in the West think yoga is just about some postures for bodily cure. Yoga is about mind technology, which then permits tapping the soul-resources.

We must raise our self-awareness that gives us valuable feedback about our conduct. We can then learn to be, as my master taught me, “calmly active & actively calm.” We can then work smart, not just hard, which even donkeys can do.

Emotions are ego in motion. They are not our highest faculty; even animals have emotions, but they have no guiding reason, no self-awareness and hence no self-control. They have no wisdom, which is much higher than reason.

The world is God’s materialized thought and we are made in His image, so our thoughts also have tremendous creative power. Thoughts shape our destiny, it is they that eventually become things. They create our outer and inner conditions. By yogic mind management, we can choose right thoughts and thereby create right conditions. The presently-popular law of attraction is based on this spiritual truth. Of course, past karma will remain a factor.

Questions are welcome from readers. It is a vast and interesting subject, that has power to transform humans, and through their optimization, it can optimize workplaces. Stephen Covey rightly says that the way we look at the problems IS the problem. We need to have holistic perceptions. Life’s highest truths are the simplest. There is too much of intellectual jargon in modern management. We need wisdom, we need values and we need self-management. You don’t need to manage people, just empower them to manage themselves.

–
Hans is a chemical engineer who worked in sales/marketing for 28 years. Thereafter, for the last 8 years, he has been a motivational speaker, yoga coach and corporate trainer. In his personal life, he has been practicing yoga-meditation for close to 25 years.

Choiceortunities - That’s right, I made up a word

2009-03-25T13:49:00.000+05:30

By Amy Chastek

One quote you will hear me saying often to my staff, students and graduates; “Life is all about choices.” It is! Everything we do involves choice. Whether it is your career search, climbing your career ladder, deciding to turn your homework in on time or making the decision to make a fresh start there are choices at every turn that you need to consider.

Life also presents opportunities and they too are everywhere. We need to be cognizant to keep our eyes and ears open so an opportunity doesn’t pass us by. Networking and career opportunities can be found in the most inconspicuous places; talking to the guy sitting next to you at the airport, the woman in line at the grocery store or talking to the guy at the next table during lunch. The word “hello” opens doors; you just need to choose to be the person who is bold enough to say it.

This brings me to “Choiceortunities” where choice meets opportunity. Making the right choices when opportunity presents itself is critical to making the most of that opportunity. How many times do we think to ourselves, “I wish I had done that differently” or “if I could only do it over again”. Maximizing our opportunities through our choices or choiceortunities; how do we do it? Scenario.

So let’s say that guy next to you at lunch is a manager at a company you’d love to work for. You find this information out by saying “Hello, how are you?” you’ve made the choice to open the door. The two of you have a nice little chat about current events (keep it neutral, no politics or religion); the weather and you each throw a name or two around in a “Do you know…” banter. What next?

Ask for a business card.

Wait a day or two.

Then email and let him know how nice it was to meet him, let him know how much you respect the company he works for and after giving a brief synopsis of your experience let him know that should any opportunities present themselves that you might be a fit for, to please let you know. Ask him if it would be OK to send your resume to him. Follow up as appropriate but don’t go overboard, it is important to be respectful and subtle.

If you see any “good news” in the local paper about him or the company, write another email acknowledging the effort and congratulating the success. If you formally apply for a job at his company, let him know and forward your resume to him. Ask him for insight into the position; people in management love to talk! Go back to the place you had lunch from time to time to see if he is there. People are creatures of habit and it is likely that you will run into him again. Watch the company’s website for their upcoming events. Are they hosting a charity or community event? If so, attend who knows who else you might meet.

The moral of the blog is to always be on the lookout for opportunities and then back up those opportunities with wise choices that have the potential of heading in the direction you envision yourself going. Choiceortunities are everywhere and heck maybe by next year at this time it’ll even be a real word in the dictionary. Now there is a choiceortunity for “Mr. Webster”;)

Amy is the Director of Career Services at Herzing College Online and teaches career development courses for the online campus. Email her at achastek@onl.herzing.edu or visit achastek@onl.herzing.edu or visit http://www.herzingonline.edu/.

Classical posters

2009-03-24T15:04:00.000+05:30

Learning MS EXCEL

2009-03-24T14:53:00.003+05:30

Microsoft Excel remains the most popular software for MIS creation. While most of us know the basics, we are not aware of the other features of this wonderful creation.

Some tips included herein would help one to master EXCEL and use it better. Click on the links below to download the study material.

Link 1. - for a powerpoint presentation on Excel Tips.
Link 2. - for a learning tutorial in excel format.
Link 3. - for chartered accountants in pdf format.
Link 4. - for excel audit software in pdf format.
Link 5. - Excel Shortcut Keys.
Link 6. - Excel Short cuts.
Link 7. - Excel Advanced formulae & functions.

~Things Are Not Always Black Or White~

2009-03-21T14:22:00.001+05:30

When I was in elementary school, I got into a major argument with a boy in my class. I have forgotten what the argument was about, but I have never forgotten the lesson I learned that day.

I was convinced that "I" was right and "he" was wrong - and he was just as convinced that "I" was wrong and "he" was right. The teacher decided to teach us a very important lesson. She brought us up to the front of the class and placed him on one side of her desk and me on the other. In the middle of her desk was a large, round object. I could clearly see that it was black. She asked the boy what color the object was. "White," he answered.

I couldn't believe he said the object was white, when it was obviously black! Another argument started between my classmate and me, this time about the color of the object.

The teacher told me to go stand where the boy was standing and told him to come stand where I had been. We changed places, and now she asked me what the color of the object was. I had to answer, "White." It was an object with two differently colored sides, and from his viewpoint it was white. Only from my side was it black.

My teacher taught me a very important lesson that day You must stand in the other person's shoes and look at the situation through their eyes in order to truly understand their perspective.

Nice Friendship Cards

2009-03-21T14:04:00.002+05:30

1000 English Proverbs and Sayings

2009-03-21T13:59:00.000+05:30

1000 English Proverbs and Sayings

1. A bad beginning makes a bad ending.
2. A bad corn promise is better than a good lawsuit.
3. A bad workman quarrels with his tools.
4. A bargain is a bargain.
5. A beggar can never be bankrupt.
6. A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.
7. A bird may be known by its song.
8. A black hen lays a white egg.
9. A blind leader of the blind.
10. A blind man would be glad to see.
11. A broken friendship may be soldered, but will never be sound.
12. A burden of one's own choice is not felt.
13. A burnt child dreads the fire.
14. A cat in gloves catches no mice.
15. A city that parleys is half gotten.
16. A civil denial is better than a rude grant.
17. A clean fast is better than a dirty breakfast.
18. A clean hand wants no washing.
19. A clear conscience laughs at false accusations.
20. A close mouth catches no flies.
21. A cock is valiant on his own dunghill.
22. A cracked bell can never sound well.
23. A creaking door hangs long on its hinges.
24. A curst cow has short horns.
25. A danger foreseen is half avoided.
26. A drop in the bucket.
27. A drowning man will catch at a straw.
28. A fair face may hide a foul heart.
29. A fault confessed is half redressed.
30. A fly in the ointment.
31. A fool always rushes to the fore.
32. A fool and his money are soon parted.
33. A fool at forty is a fool indeed.
34. A fool may ask more questions in an hour than a wise man can answer in seven years.
35. A fool may throw a stone into a well which a hundred wise men cannot pull out.
36. A fool's tongue runs before his wit.
37. A forced kindness deserves no thanks.
38. A foul morn may turn to a fair day.
39. A fox is not taken twice in the same snare.
40. A friend in need is a friend indeed.
43. A friend is never known till needed.
42. A friend to all is a friend to none.
43. A friend's frown is better than a foe's smile.
44. A good anvil does not fear the hammer.
45. A good beginning is half the battle.
46. A good beginning makes a good ending.
47. A good deed is never lost.
48. A good dog deserves a good bone.
49. A good example is the best sermon.
50. A good face is a letter of recommendation.
51. A good Jack makes a good Jill.
52. A good marksman may miss.
53. A good name is better than riches.
54. A good name is sooner lost than won.
55. A good name keeps its lustre in the dark.
56. A good wife makes a good husband.
57. A great dowry is a bed full of brambles.
58. A great fortune is a great slavery.
59. A great ship asks deep waters.
60. A guilty conscience needs no accuser.
61. A hard nut to crack.
62. A heavy purse makes a light heart.
63. A hedge between keeps friendship green.
64. A honey tongue, a heart of gall.
65. A hungry belly has no ears.
66. A hungry man is an angry man.
67. A Jack of all trades is master of none.
68. A Joke never gains an enemy but often loses a friend.
69. A lawyer never goes to law himself.
70. A lazy sheep thinks its wool heavy.
71. A liar is not believed when he speaks the truth.
72. A lie begets a lie.
73. A light purse is a heavy curse.
74. A light purse makes a heavy heart.
75. A little body often harbours a great soul.
76. A little fire is quickly trodden out.
77. A man can die but once.
78. A man can do no more than he can.
79. A man is known by the company he keeps.
80. A man of words and not of deeds is like a garden full of weeds.
81. A miserly father makes a prodigal son.
82. A miss is as good as a mile.
83. A new broom sweeps clean.
84. A nod from a lord is a breakfast for a fool.
85. A penny saved is a penny gained.
86. A penny soul never came to twopence.
87. A quiet conscience sleeps in thunder.
88. A rolling stone gathers no moss.
89. A round peg in a square hole.
90. A shy cat makes a proud mouse.
91. A silent fool is counted wise.
92. A small leak will sink a great ship.
93. A soft answer turns away wrath.
94. A sound mind in a sound body.
95. A stitch in time saves nine.
96. A storm in a teacup.
97. A tattler is worse than a thief.
98. A thief knows a thief as a wolf knows a wolf.
99. A thief passes for a gentleman when stealing has made him rich.
100. A threatened blow is seldom given.
101. A tree is known by its fruit.
102. A wager is a fool's argument.
103. A watched pot never boils.
104. A wise man changes his mind, a fool never will.
105. A wolf in sheep's clothing.
106. A wonder lasts but nine days.
107. A word is enough to the wise.
108. A word spoken is past recalling.
109. Actions speak louder than words.
110. Adversity is a great schoolmaster.
111. Adversity makes strange bedfellows.
112. After a storm comes a calm.
113. After dinner comes the reckoning.
114. After dinner sit (sleep) a while, after supper walk a mile.
115. After rain comes fair weather.
116. After us the deluge.
117. Agues come on horseback, but go away on foot.
118. All are good lasses, but whence come the bad wives?
119. All are not friends that speak us fair.
120. All are not hunters that blow the horn.
121. All are not merry that dance lightly.
122. All are not saints that go to church.
123. All asses wag their ears.
124. All bread is not baked in one oven.
125. All cats are grey in the dark (in the night).
126. All covet, all lose.
127. All doors open to courtesy.
128. All is fish that comes to his net.
129. All is not lost that is in peril.
130. All is well that ends well.
131. All lay load on the willing horse.
132. All men can't be first.
133. All men can't be masters.
134. All promises are either broken or kept.
135. All roads lead to Rome .
136. All sugar and honey.
137. All that glitters is not gold.
138. All things are difficult before they are easy.
139. All truths are not to be told.
140. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
141. "Almost" never killed a fly (was never hanged).
142. Among the blind the one-eyed man is king.
143. An apple a day keeps the doctor away.
144. An ass in a lion's skin.
145. An ass is but an ass, though laden with gold.
146. An ass loaded with gold climbs to the top of the castle.
147. An empty hand is no lure for a hawk.
148. An empty sack cannot stand upright.
149. An empty vessel gives a greater sound than a full barrel.
150. An evil chance seldom comes alone.
151. An honest tale speeds best, being plainly told.
152. An hour in the morning is worth two in the evening.
153. An idle brain is the devil's workshop.
154. An ill wound is cured, not an ill name.
155. An oak is not felled at one stroke.
156. An old dog barks not in vain.
157. An open door may tempt a saint.
158. An ounce of discretion is worth a pound of learning.
159. An ox is taken by the horns, and a man by the tongue.
160. An unfortunate man would be drowned in a teacup.
161. Anger and haste hinder good counsel.
162. Any port in a storm.
163. Appearances are deceitful.
164. Appetite comes with eating.
165. As drunk as a lord.
166. As innocent as a babe unborn.
167. As like as an apple to an oyster.
168. As like as two peas.
169. As old as the hills.
170. As plain as the nose on a man's face.
171. As plain as two and two make four.
172. As snug as a bug in a rug .
173. As sure as eggs is eggs.
174. As the call, so the echo.
175. As the fool thinks, so the bell clinks.
176. As the old cock crows, so does the young.
177. As the tree falls, so shall it lie.
178. As the tree, so the fruit.
179. As welcome as flowers in May.
180. As welcome as water in one's shoes.
181. As well be hanged for a sheep as for a lamb.
182. As you brew, so must you drink.
183. As you make your bed, so must you lie on it.
184. As you sow, so shall you reap.
185. Ask no questions and you will be told no lies.
186. At the ends of the earth.
187. Bacchus has drowned more men than Neptune .
188. Bad news has wings.
189. Barking does seldom bite.
190. Be slow to promise and quick to perform.
191. Be swift to hear, slow to speak.
192. Beauty is but skin-deep.
193. Beauty lies in lover's eyes.
194. Before one can say Jack Robinson.
195. Before you make a friend eat a bushel of salt with him.
196. Beggars cannot be choosers.
197. Believe not all that you see nor half what you hear.
198. Best defence is offence.
199. Better a glorious death than a shameful life.
200. Better a lean peace than a fat victory.
201. Better a little fire to warm us, than a great one to burn us.
202. Better an egg today than a hen tomorrow.
203. Better an open enemy than a false friend.
204. Better be alone than in bad company.
205. Better be born lucky than rich.
206. Better be envied than pitied.
207. Better be the head of a dog than the tail of a lion.
208. Better deny at once than promise long.
209. Better die standing than live kneeling.
210. Better early than late.
211. Better give a shilling than lend a half-crown.
212. Better go to bed supperless than rise in debt.
213. Better late than never.
214. Better lose a jest than a friend.
215. Better one-eyed than stone-blind.
216. Better the devil you know than the devil you don't.
217. Better the foot slip than the tongue.
218. Better to do well than to say well.
219. Better to reign in hell, than serve in heaven.
220. Better unborn than untaught.
221. Better untaught than ill-taught.
222. Between the cup and the lip a morsel may slip.
223. Between the devil and the deep (blue) sea.
224. Between two evils 'tis not worth choosing.
225. Between two stools one goes (falls) to the ground.
226. Between the upper and nether millstone.
227. Betwixt and between.
228. Beware of a silent dog and still water.
229. Bind the sack before it be full.
230. Birds of a feather flock together.
231. Blind men can judge no colours.
232. Blood is thicker than water.
233. Borrowed garments never fit well.
234. Brevity is the soul of wit.
235. Burn not your house to rid it of the mouse.
236. Business before pleasure.
237. By doing nothing we learn to do ill.
238. By hook or by crook.
239. By the street of 'by-and-bye' one arrives at the house of 'Never'.
240. Calamity is man's true touchstone.
241. Care killed the cat.
242. Catch the bear before you sell his skin.
243. Caution is the parent of safety.
244. Charity begins at home.
245. Cheapest is the dearest.
246. Cheek brings success.
247. Children and fools must not play with edged tools.
248. Children are poor men's riches.
249. Choose an author as you choose a friend.
250. Christmas comes but once a year, (but when it comes it brings good cheer).
251. Circumstances alter cases.
252. Claw me, and I will claw thee.
253. Cleanliness is next to godliness.
254. Company in distress makes trouble less.
255. Confession is the first step to repentance.
256. Counsel is no command.
257. Creditors have better memories than debtors.
258. Cross the stream where it is shallowest.
259. Crows do not pick crow's eyes.
260. Curiosity killed a cat.
261. Curses like chickens come home to roost.
262. Custom is a second nature.
263. Custom is the plague of wise men and the idol of fools.
264. Cut your coat according to your cloth.
265. Death is the grand leveller.
266. Death pays all debts.
267. Death when it comes will have no denial.
268. Debt is the worst poverty.
269. Deeds, not words.
270. Delays are dangerous.
271. Desperate diseases must have desperate remedies.
272. Diligence is the mother of success (good luck).
273. Diseases are the interests of pleasures.
274. Divide and rule.
275. Do as you would be done by.
276. Dog does not eat dog.
277. Dog eats dog.
278. Dogs that put up many hares kill none.
279. Doing is better than saying.
280. Don't count your chickens before they are hatched.
281. Don't cross the bridges before you come to them.
282. Don't have thy cloak to make when it begins to rain.
283. Don't keep a dog and bark yourself.
284. Don't look a gift horse in the mouth.
285. Don't put all your eggs in one basket.
286. Don't sell the bear's skin before you've caught it.
287. Don't trouble trouble until trouble troubles you.
288. Don't whistle (halloo) until you are out of the wood.
289. Dot your i's and cross your t's.
290. Draw not your bow till your arrow is fixed.
291. Drive the nail that will go.
292. Drunken days have all their tomorrow.
293. Drunkenness reveals what soberness conceals.
294. Dumb dogs are dangerous.
295. Each bird loves to hear himself sing.
296. Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise.
297. Easier said than done.
298. East or West ? home is best.
299. Easy come, easy go.
300. Eat at pleasure, drink with measure.
301. Empty vessels make the greatest (the most) sound.
302. Enough is as good as a feast.
303. Envy shoots at others and wounds herself.
304. Even reckoning makes long friends.
305. Every ass loves to hear himself bray.
306. Every barber knows that.
307. Every bean has its black.
308. Every bird likes its own nest.
309. Every bullet has its billet.
310. Every country has its customs.
311. Every dark cloud has a silver lining.
312. Every day is not Sunday.
313. Every dog has his day.
314. Every dog is a lion at home.
315. Every dog is valiant at his own door.
316. Every Jack has his Jill.
317. Every man has a fool in his sleeve.
318. Every man has his faults.
319. Every man has his hobby-horse.
320. Every man is the architect of his own fortunes.
321. Every man to his taste.
322. Every miller draws water to his own mill.
323. Every mother thinks her own gosling a swan.
324. Every one's faults are not written in their foreheads.
325. Every tub must stand on its own bottom.
326. Every white has its black, and every sweet its sour.
327. Every why has a wherefore.
328. Everybody's business is nobody's business.
329. Everything comes to him who waits.
330. Everything is good in its season.
331. Evil communications corrupt good manners.
332. Experience is the mother of wisdom.
333. Experience keeps a dear school, but fools learn in no other.
334. Experience keeps no school, she teaches her pupils singly.
335. Extremes meet.
336. Facts are stubborn things.
337. Faint heart never won fair lady.
338. Fair without, foul (false) within.
339. Fair words break no bones.
340. False friends are worse than open enemies.
341. Familiarity breeds contempt.
342. Far from eye, far from heart.
343. Fasting comes after feasting.
344. Faults are thick where love is thin.
345. Feast today and fast tomorrow.
346. Fine feathers make fine birds.
347. Fine words butter no parsnips.
348. First catch your hare.
349. First come, first served.
350. First deserve and then desire.
351. First think, then speak.
352. Fish and company stink in three days.
353. Fish begins to stink at the head.
354. Follow the river and you'll get to the sea.
355. Fool's haste is no speed.
356. Fools and madmen speak the truth.
357. Fools grow without watering.
358. Fools may sometimes speak to the purpose.
359. Fools never know when they are well.
360. Fools rush in where angels fear to tread.
361. For the love of the game.
362. Forbearance is no acquittance.
363. Forbidden fruit is sweet.
364. Forewarned is forearmed.
365. Fortune favours the brave (the bold).
366. Fortune is easily found, but hard to be kept.
367. Four eyes see more (better) than two.
368. Friends are thieves of time.
369. From bad to worse.
370. From pillar to post.
371. Gentility without ability is worse than plain beggary.
372. Get a name to rise early, and you may lie all day.
373. Gifts from enemies are dangerous.
374. Give a fool rope enough, and he will hang himself.
375. Give every man thy ear, but few thy voice.
376. Give him an inch and he'll take an ell.
377. Give never the wolf the wether to keep.
378. Gluttony kills more men than the sword.
379. Go to bed with the lamb and rise with the lark.
380. Good clothes open all doors.
381. Good counsel does no harm.
382. Good health is above wealth.
383. Good masters make good servants.
384. Good words and no deeds.
385. Good words without deeds are rushes and reeds.
386. Gossiping and lying go hand in hand.
387. Grasp all, lose all.
388. Great barkers are no biters.
389. Great boast, small roast.
390. Great cry and little wool.
391. Great spenders are bad lenders.
392. Great talkers are great liars.
393. Great talkers are little doers.
394. Greedy folk have long arms.
395. Habit cures habit.
396. Half a loaf is better than no bread.
397. "Hamlet" without the Prince of Denmark .
398. Handsome is that handsome does.
399. Happiness takes no account of time.
400. Happy is he that is happy in his children.
401. Hard words break no bones.
402. Hares may pull dead lions by the beard.
403. Harm watch, harm catch.
404. Haste makes waste.
405. Hasty climbers have sudden falls.
406. Hate not at the first harm.
407. Hatred is blind, as well as love.
408. Hawks will not pick hawks' eyes.
409. He begins to die that quits his desires.
410. He cannot speak well that cannot hold his tongue.
411. He carries fire in one hand and water in the other.
412. He dances well to whom fortune pipes.
413. He gives twice who gives in a trice.
414. He goes long barefoot that waits for dead man's shoes.
415. He is a fool that forgets himself.
416. He is a good friend that speaks well of us behind our backs.
417. He is happy that thinks himself so.
418. He is lifeless that is faultless.
419. He is not fit to command others that cannot command himself.
420. He is not laughed at that laughs at himself first.
421. He is not poor that has little, but he that desires much.
422. He jests at scars that never felt a wound.
423. He knows best what good is that has endured evil.
424. He knows how many beans make five.
425. He knows much who knows how to hold his tongue.
426. He laughs best who laughs last.
427. He lives long that lives well.
428. He must needs swim that is held up by the chin.
429. He should have a long spoon that sups with the devil.
430. He smells best that smells of nothing.
431. He that comes first to the hill may sit where he will.
432. He that commits a fault thinks everyone speaks of it.
433. He that does you an i!i turn will never forgive you.
434. He that fears every bush must never go a-birding.
435. He that fears you present wiil hate you absent.
436. He that goes a borrowing, goes a sorrowing.
437. He that goes barefoot must not plant thorns.
438. He that has a full purse never wanted a friend.
439. He that has a great nose thinks everybody is speaking of it.
440. He that has an ill name is half hanged.
441. He that has no children knows not what love is.
442. He that has He head needs no hat.
443. He that has no money needs no purse.
444. He that is born to be hanged shall never be drowned.
445. He that is full of himself is very empty.
446. He that is ill to himself will be good to nobody.
447. He that is warm thinks all so.
448. He that knows nothing doubts nothing.
449. He that lies down with dogs must rise up with fleas.
450. He that lives with cripples learns to limp.
451. He that mischief hatches, mischief catches.
452. He that never climbed never fell.
453. He that once deceives is ever suspected.
454. He that promises too much means nothing.
455. He that respects not is not respected.
456. He that seeks trouble never misses.
457. He that serves everybody is paid by nobody.
458. He that serves God for money will serve the devil for better wages.
459. He that spares the bad injures the good.
460. He that talks much errs much.
461. He that talks much lies much.
462. He that will eat the kernel must crack the nut.
463. He that will not when he may, when he will he shall have nay.
464. He that will steal an egg will steal an ox.
465. He that will thrive, must rise at five.
466. He that would eat the fruit must climb the tree.
467. He that would have eggs must endure the cackling of hens.
468. He who is born a fool is never cured.
469. He who hesitates is lost.
470. He who likes borrowing dislikes paying.
471. He who makes no mistakes, makes nothing.
472. He who pleased everybody died before he was born.
473. He who says what he likes, shall hear what he doesn't like.
474. He who would catch fish must not mind getting wet.
475. He who would eat the nut must first crack the shell.
476. He who would search for pearls must dive below.
477. He will never set the Thames on fire.
478. He works best who knows his trade.
479. Head cook and bottle-washer.
480. Health is not valued till sickness comes.
481. His money burns a hole in his pocket.
482. Honesty is the best policy.
483. Honey is not for the ass's mouth.
484. Honey is sweet, but the bee stings.
485. Honour and profit lie not in one sack.
486. Honours change manners.
487. Hope is a good breakfast, but a bad supper.
488. Hope is the poor man's bread.
489. Hunger breaks stone walls.
490. Hunger finds no fault with cookery.
491. Hunger is the best sauce.
492. Hungry bellies have no ears.
493. Idle folks lack no excuses.
494. Idleness is the mother of all evil.
495. Idleness rusts the mind.
496. If an ass (donkey) bray at you, don't bray at him.
497. If ifs and ans were pots and pans...
498. If my aunt had been a man, she'd have been my uncle.
499. If the blind lead the blind, both shall fall into the ditch.
500. If the sky falls, we shall catch larks.
501. If there were no clouds, we should not enjoy the sun.
502. If things were to be done twice all would be wise.
503. If we can't as we would, we must do as we can.
504. If wishes were horses, beggars might ride.
505. If you agree to carry the calf, they'll make you carry the cow.
506. If you cannot bite, never show your teeth.
507. If you cannot have the best, make the best of what you have.
508. If you dance you must pay the fiddler.
509. If you laugh before breakfast you'll cry before supper.
510. If you run after two hares, you will catch neither.
511. If you sell the cow, you sell her milk too.
512. If you throw mud enough, some of it will stick.
513. If you try to please all you will please none.
514. If you want a thing well done, do it yourself.
515. Ill-gotten gains never prosper.
516. Ill-gotten, ill-spent.
517. In every beginning think of the end.
518. In for a penny, in for a pound.
519. In the country of the blind one-eyed man is a king.
520. In the end things will mend.
521. In the evening one may praise the day.
522. Iron hand (fist) in a velvet glove.
523. It is a good horse that never stumbles.
524. It is a long lane that has no turning.
525. It is a poor mouse that has only one hole.
526. It is an ill bird that fouls its own nest.
527. It is an ill wind that blows nobody good.
528. It is a silly fish, that is caught twice with the same bait.
529. It is easy to swim if another hoids up your chin (head).
530. It is enough to make a cat laugh.
531. It is good fishing in troubled waters.
532. It is never too late to learn.
533. It is no use crying over spilt milk.
534. It is the first step that costs.
535. It never rains but it pours.
536. It's as broad as it's long.
537. It's no use pumping a dry well.
538. It's one thing to flourish and another to fight.
539. It takes all sorts to make a world.
540. Jackdaw in peacock's feathers.
541. Jest with an ass and he will flap you in the face with his tail.
542. Judge not of men and things at first sight.
543. Just as the twig is bent, the tree is inclined.
544. Keep a thing seven years and you will find a use for it.
545. Keep your mouth shut and your ears open.
546. Keep your mouth shut and your eyes open.
547. Last, but not least.
548. Laws catch flies, but let hornets go free.
549. Learn to creep before you leap.
550. Learn to say before you sing.
551. Learn wisdom by the follies of others.
552. Least said, soonest mended.
553. Leaves without figs.
554. Let bygones be bygones.
555. Let every man praise the bridge he goes over.
556. Let sleeping dogs lie.
557. Let well (enough) alone.
558. Liars need good memories.
559. Lies have short legs.
560. Life is but a span.
561. Life is not a bed of roses.
562. Life is not all cakes and ale (beer and skittles).
563. Like a cat on hot bricks.
564. Like a needle in a haystack.
565. Like begets like.
566. Like cures like.
567. Like father, like son.
568. Like draws to like.
569. Like master, like man.
570. Like mother, like daughter.
571. Like parents, like children.
572. Like priest, like people.
573. Like teacher, like pupil.
574. Little chips light great fires.
575. Little knowledge is a dangerous thing.
576. Little pigeons can carry great messages.
577. Little pitchers have long ears.
578. Little strokes fell great oaks.
579. Little thieves are hanged, but great ones escape.
580. Little things amuse little minds.
581. Live and learn.
582. Live and let live.
583. Live not to eat, but eat to live.
584. Long absent, soon forgotten.
585. Look before you leap.
586. Look before you leap, but having leapt never look back.
587. Lookers-on see more than players.
588. Lord (God, Heaven) helps those (them) who help themselves.
589. Lost time is never found again.
590. Love cannot be forced.
591. Love in a cottage.
592. Love is blind, as well as hatred.
593. Love me, love my dog.
594. Love will creep where it may not go.
595. Make haste slowly.
596. Make hay while the sun shines.
597. Make or mar.
598. Man proposes but God disposes.
599. Many a fine dish has nothing on it.
600. Many a good cow has a bad calf.
601. Many a good father has but a bad son.
602. Many a little makes a mickle.
603. Many a true word is spoken in jest.
604. Many hands make light work.
605. Many men, many minds.
606. Many words hurt more than swords.
607. Many words will not fill a bushel.
608. Marriages are made in heaven.
609. Measure for measure.
610. Measure thrice and cut once.
611. Men may meet but mountains never.
612. Mend or end (end or mend).
613. Might goes before right.
614. Misfortunes never come alone (singly).
615. Misfortunes tell us what fortune is.
616. Money begets money.
617. Money has no smell.
618. Money is a good servant but a bad master.
619. Money often unmakes the men who make it.
620. Money spent on the brain is never spent in vain.
621. More haste, less speed.
622. Much ado about nothing.
623. Much will have more.
624. Muck and money go together.
625. Murder will out.
626. My house is my castle.
627. Name not a rope in his house that was hanged.
628. Necessity is the mother of invention.
629. Necessity knows no law.
630. Neck or nothing.
631. Need makes the old wife trot.
632. Needs must when the devil drives.
633. Neither fish nor flesh.
634. Neither here nor there.
635. Neither rhyme nor reason.
636. Never cackle till your egg is laid.
637. Never cast dirt into that fountain of which you have sometime drunk.
638. Never do things by halves.
639. Never fry a fish till it's caught.
640. Never offer to teach fish to swim.
641. Never put off till tomorrow what you can do (can be done) today.
642. Never quit certainty for hope.
643. Never too much of a good thing.
644. Never try to prove what nobody doubts.
645. Never write what you dare not sign.
646. New brooms sweep clean.
647. New lords, new laws.
648. Nightingales will not sing in a cage.
649. No flying from fate.
650. No garden without its weeds.
651. No great loss without some small gain.
652. No herb will cure love.
653. No joy without alloy.
654. No living man all things can.
655. No longer pipe, no longer dance.
656. No man is wise at all times.
657. No man loves his fetters, be they made of gold.
658. No news (is) good news.
659. No pains, no gains.
660. No song, no supper.
661. No sweet without (some) sweat.
662. No wisdom like silence.
663. None but the brave deserve the fair.
664. None so blind as those who won't see.
665. None so deaf as those that won't hear.
666. Nothing comes out of the sack but what was in it.
667. Nothing is impossible to a willing heart.
668. Nothing must be done hastily but killing of fleas.
669. Nothing so bad, as not to be good for something.
670. Nothing succeeds like success.
671. Nothing venture, nothing have.
672. Oaks may fall when reeds stand the storm.
673. Of two evils choose the least.
674. Old birds are not caught with chaff.
675. Old friends and old wine are best.
676. On Shank's mare.
677. Once bitten, twice shy.
678. Once is no rule (custom).
679. One beats the bush, and another catches the bird.
680. One chick keeps a hen busy.
681. One drop of poison infects the whole tun of wine.
682. One fire drives out another.
683. One good turn deserves another.
684. One law for the rich, and another for the poor.
685. One lie makes many.
686. One link broken, the whole chain is broken.
687. One man, no man.
688. One man's meat is another man's poison.
689. One scabby sheep will mar a whole flock.
690. One swallow does not make a summer.
691. One today is worth two tomorrow.
692. Open not your door when the devil knocks.
693. Opinions differ.
694. Opportunity makes the thief.
695. Out of sight, out of mind.
696. Out of the frying-pan into the fire.
697. Packed like herrings.
698. Patience is a plaster for all sores.
699. Penny-wise and pound-foolish.
700. Pleasure has a sting in its tail.
701. Plenty is no plague.
702. Politeness costs little (nothing), but yields much.
703. Poverty is no sin.
704. Poverty is not a shame, but the being ashamed of it is.
705. Practise what you preach.
706. Praise is not pudding.
707. Pride goes before a fall.
708. Procrastination is the thief of time.
709. Promise is debt.
710. Promise little, but do much.
711. Prosperity makes friends, and adversity tries them.
712. Put not your hand between the bark and the tree.
713. Rain at seven, fine at eleven.
714. Rats desert a sinking ship.
715. Repentance is good, but innocence is better.
716. Respect yourself, or no one else will respect you.
717. Roll my log and I will roll yours.
718. Rome was not built in a day.
719. Salt water and absence wash away love.
720. Saying and doing are two things.
721. Score twice before you cut once.
722. Scornful dogs will eat dirty puddings.
723. Scratch my back and I'll scratch yours.
724. Self done is soon done.
725. Self done is well done.
726. Self is a bad counsellor.
727. Self-praise is no recommendation.
728. Set a beggar on horseback and he'll ride to the devil.
729. Set a thief to catch a thief.
730. Shallow streams make most din.
731. Short debts (accounts) make long friends.
732. Silence gives consent.
733. Since Adam was a boy.
734. Sink or swim!
735. Six of one and half a dozen of the other.
736. Slow and steady wins the race.
737. Slow but sure.
738. Small rain lays great dust.
739. So many countries, so many customs.
740. So many men, so many minds.
741. Soft fire makes sweet malt.
742. Something is rotten in the state of Denmark .
743. Soon learnt, soon forgotten.
744. Soon ripe, soon rotten.
745. Speak (talk) of the devil and he will appear (is sure to appear).
746. Speech is silver but silence is gold.
747. Standers-by see more than gamesters.
748. Still waters run deep.
749. Stolen pleasures are sweetest.
750. Stretch your arm no further than your sleeve will reach.
751. Stretch your legs according to the coverlet.
752. Strike while the iron is hot.
753. Stuff today and starve tomorrow.
754. Success is never blamed.
755. Such carpenters, such chips.
756. Sweep before your own door.
757. Take care of the pence and the pounds will take care of themselves.
758. Take us as you find us.
759. Tarred with the same brush.
760. Tastes differ.
761. Tell that to the marines.
762. That cock won't fight.
763. That which one least anticipates soonest comes to pass.
764. That's a horse of another colour.
765. That's where the shoe pinches!
766. The beggar may sing before the thief (before a footpad).
767. The best fish smell when they are three days old.
768. The best fish swim near the bottom.
769. The best is oftentimes the enemy of the good.
770. The busiest man finds the most leisure.
771. The camel going to seek horns lost his ears.
772. The cap fits.
773. The cask savours of the first fill.
774. The cat shuts its eyes when stealing cream.
775. The cat would eat fish and would not wet her paws.
776. The chain is no stronger than its weakest link.
777. The cobbler should stick to his last.
778. The cobbler's wife is the worst shod.
779. The darkest hour is that before the dawn.
780. The darkest place is under the candlestick.
781. The devil is not so black as he is painted.
782. The devil knows many things because he is old.
783. The devil lurks behind the cross.
784. The devil rebuking sin.
785. The dogs bark, but the caravan goes on.
786. The Dutch have taken Holland !
787. The early bird catches the worm.
788. The end crowns the work.
789. The end justifies the means.
790. The evils we bring on ourselves are hardest to bear.
791. The exception proves the rule.
792. The face is the index of the mind.
793. The falling out of lovers is the renewing of love.
794. The fat is in the fire.
795. The first blow is half the battle.
796. The furthest way about is the nearest way home.
797. The game is not worth the candle.
798. The heart that once truly loves never forgets.
799. The higher the ape goes, the more he shows his tail.
800. The last drop makes the cup run over.
801. The last straw breaks the camel's back.
802. The leopard cannot change its spots.
803. The longest day has an end.
804. The mill cannot grind with the water that is past.
805. The moon does not heed the barking of dogs.
806. The more haste, the less speed.
807. The more the merrier.
808. The morning sun never lasts a day.
809. The mountain has brought forth a mouse.
810. The nearer the bone, the sweeter the flesh.
811. The pitcher goes often to the well but is broken at last.
812. The pot calls the kettle black.
813. The proof of the pudding is in the eating.
814. The receiver is as bad as the thief.
815. The remedy is worse than the disease.
816. The rotten apple injures its neighbours.
817. The scalded dog fears cold water.
818. The tailor makes the man.
819. The tongue of idle persons is never idle.
820. The voice of one man is the voice of no one.
821. The way (the road) to hell is paved with good intentions.
822. The wind cannot be caught in a net.
823. The work shows the workman.
824. There are lees to every wine.
825. There are more ways to the wood than one.
826. There is a place for everything, and everything in its place.
827. There is more than one way to kill a cat.
828. There is no fire without smoke.
829. There is no place like home.
830. There is no rose without a thorn.
831. There is no rule without an exception.
832. There is no smoke without fire.
833. There's many a slip 'tween (== between) the cup and the lip.
834. There's no use crying over spilt milk.
835. They are hand and glove.
836. They must hunger in winter that will not work in summer.
837. Things past cannot be recalled.
838. Think today and speak tomorrow.
839. Those who live in glass houses should not throw stones.
840. Time and tide wait for no man.
841. Time cures all things.
842. Time is money.
843. Time is the great healer.
844. Time works wonders.
845. To add fuel (oil) to the fire (flames).
846. To angle with a silver hook.
847. To be born with a silver spoon in one's mouth.
848. To be head over ears in debt.
849. To be in one's birthday suit.
850. To be up to the ears in love.
851. To be wise behind the hand.
852. To beat about the bush.
853. To beat the air.
854. To bring grist to somebody's mill.
855. To build a fire under oneself.
856. To buy a pig in a poke.
857. To call a spade a spade.
858. To call off the dogs.
859. To carry coals to Newcastle .
860. To cast pearls before swine.
861. To cast prudence to the winds.
862. To come away none the wiser.
863. To come off cheap.
864. To come off with a whole skin.
865. To come off with flying colours.
866. To come out dry.
867. To come out with clean hands.
868. To cook a hare before catching him.
869. To cry with one eye and laugh with the other.
870. To cut one's throat with a feather.
871. To draw (pull) in one's horns.
872. To drop a bucket into an empty well.
873. To draw water in a sieve.
874. To eat the calf in the cow's belly.
875. To err is human.
876. To fiddle while Rome is burning.
877. To fight with one's own shadow.
878. To find a mare's nest.
879. To fish in troubled waters.
880. To fit like a glove.
881. To flog a dead horse.
882. To get out of bed on the wrong side.
883. To give a lark to catch a kite.
884. To go for wool and come home shorn.
885. To go through fire and water (through thick and thin).
886. To have a finger in the pie.
887. To have rats in the attic.
888. To hit the nail on the head.
889. To kick against the pricks.
890. To kill two birds with one stone.
891. To know everything is to know nothing.
892. To know on which side one's bread is buttered.
893. To know what's what.
894. To lay by for a rainy day.
895. To live from hand to mouth.
896. To lock the stable-door after the horse is stolen.
897. To look for a needle in a haystack.
898. To love somebody (something) as the devil loves holy water.
899. To make a mountain out of a molehill.
900. To make both ends meet.
901. To make the cup run over.
902. To make (to turn) the air blue.
903. To measure another man's foot by one's own last.
904. To measure other people's corn by one's own bushel.
905. To pay one back in one's own coin.
906. To plough the sand.
907. To pour water into a sieve.
908. To pull the chestnuts out of the fire for somebody.
909. To pull the devil by the tail.
910. To put a spoke in somebody's wheel.
911. To put off till Doomsday.
912. To put (set) the cart before the horse.
913. To rob one's belly to cover one's back.
914. To roll in money.
915. To run with the hare and hunt with the hounds.
916. To save one's bacon.
917. To send (carry) owls to Athens .
918. To set the wolf to keep the sheep.
919. To stick to somebody like a leech.
920. To strain at a gnat and swallow a camel.
921. To take counsel of one's pillow.
922. To take the bull by the horns.
923. To teach the dog to bark.
924. To tell tales out of school.
925. To throw a stone in one's own garden.
926. To throw dust in somebody's eyes.
927. To throw straws against the wind.
928. To treat somebody with a dose of his own medicine.
929. To use a steam-hammer to crack nuts.
930. To wash one's dirty linen in public.
931. To wear one's heart upon one's sleeve.
932. To weep over an onion.
933. To work with the left hand.
934. Tomorrow come never.
935. Too many cooks spoil the broth.
936. Too much knowledge makes the head bald.
937. Too much of a good thing is good for nothing.
938. Too much water drowned the miller .
939. Too swift arrives as tardy as too slow.
940. True blue will never stain.
941. True coral needs no painter's brush.
942. Truth comes out of the mouths of babes and sucklings.
943. Truth is stranger than fiction.
944. Truth lies at the bottom of a well.
945. Two blacks do not make a white.
946. Two heads are better than one.
947. Two is company, but three is none.
948. Velvet paws hide sharp claws.
949. Virtue is its own reward.
950. Wait for the cat to jump.
951. Walls have ears.
952. Wash your dirty linen at home.
953. Waste not, want not.
954. We know not what is good until we have lost it.
955. We never know the value of water till the well is dry.
956. We shall see what we shall see.
957. We soon believe what we desire.
958. Wealth is nothing without health.
959. Well begun is half done.
960. What can't be cured, must be endured.
961. What is bred in the bone will not go out of the flesh.
962. What is done by night appears by day.
963. What is done cannot be undone.
964. What is got over the devil's back is spent under his belly.
965. What is lost is lost.
966. What is sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander.
967. What is worth doing at alt is worth doing well.
968. What must be, must be.
969. What the heart thinks the tongue speaks.
970. What we do willingly is easy.
971. When angry, count a hundred.
972. When at Rome, do as the Romans do.
973. When children stand quiet, they have done some harm.
974. When flatterers meet, the devil goes to dinner.
975. When guns speak it is too late to argue.
976. When pigs fly.
977. When Queen Anne was alive.
978. When the cat is away, the mice will play.
979. When the devil is blind.
980. When the fox preaches, take care of your geese.
981. When the pinch comes, you remember the old shoe.
982. When three know it, alt know it.
983. When wine is in wit is out.
984. Where there's a will, there's a way.
985. While the grass grows the horse starves.
986. While there is life there is hope.
987. Who breaks, pays.
988. Who has never tasted bitter, knows not what is sweet.
989. Who keeps company with the wolf, will learn to howl.
990. Wise after the event.
991. With time and patience the leaf of the mulberry becomes satin.
992. Words pay no debts.
993. You can take a horse to the water but you cannot make him drink.
994. You cannot eat your cake and have it.
995. You cannot flay the same ox twice.
996. You cannot judge a tree by it bark.
997. You cannot teach old dogs new tricks.
998. You cannot wash charcoal white.
999. You made your bed, now lie in it.
1000. Zeal without knowledge is a runaway horse.

Nice way to say "SORRY"

2009-03-21T13:28:00.002+05:30

LEADERSHIP IS ACTION NOT POSITION

2009-03-21T13:26:00.000+05:30

All successful people became successful, because they gave some talent or ability in the service of others.

You can contribute in some way to others, no matter how small your talent. You too, can become successful.

No one achieves success without being of service. Successful people don't use others, other people use the successful, for above all success is about service.

Everyone has to be someone to someone to be anyone. Service is the essence of success.

Max Steingart